will never forget this day...

2009-10-22T00:43:00.000-07:00

Day 29 (22/10/09)
Tomorrow we are going to Osaka! Yay! the long awaited holiday! WOOTS!

So yup, met the dean at 11am this morning, gave her feedbacks on the difference in the systems and what we like. then took photo,then we were free until 6.15pm. So yup, set off for the bus stop to go downtown to get my shoes. so yup, but maw forgt her stuff so since bus not here, she ran back to get her stuff. then i went to shop around the shop in the hospital...but i ended up attracted to the sandwhich which i have seen so many times. so i bought it! i also dont know why. haha...but i love sandwhich probably thats why i cant take my eyes off them! hehe....then she came back, we board the bus, then realise she dont know have her coat with her, then she check the bus stop it is not there. so we left the bus, she ran off to get her coat and i went back to the shop to get the coffee....hehe....so yup, she made me miss one bus! haha but she was freaking tired.hehe....so yup, finally everything settled, we board the bust and head for downtown.

went to entetsu, she wanted to see anytink for her mum, but ended up at the basement and we tried some cake which she love and i so-so...so yup...after that, head for my shoes! but the shoe shop fellow gave me the biggest size, i can fit in but just that it is abit tight so cannot! :(...then i want another also same...then he say another type of colour will have bigger size but so awful la the colour! and see that dumb face of him! so sleepy! never really liked him since maw got her shoes but oh well he sells cheaper shoes! anw, so i didnt get my shoes! haiz...i really liked the second pair but since yesterday have already been nagged the mood to get it also wavered! so funny! want to get it out also hard...one person say one thing! after bringing my hopes high then smashed it again! but oh well, i couldnt fit into them anyway!

so maw said to go zaza and try but we ended up looking at other stuff instead and i bought a denim dress which is cheaper than the shoes and probably wear more times than the shoes! but oh well, it was a fair deal cause at least after i buy it, i know i should not go in search of the shoes cause i don't have much money left and the luggage also full...so yup...but the dress was really a surprise like the rest of the clothes that i bought! it looks tight and L size...but who knows! I can fit in! haha...

so had kebab for lunch and ta pao back for dinner as well as tomorrow's dinner! so yup, went back to school...waiting for 6.15pm to come! yup yup! then going to pack and soak in my bath tub tonight!

sorry...but i guess the blog is the only place i can vent out for now although you will be reading this...but it is really no fun have the hopes being smashed! and especially so when you are alone and communication is not easy with anyone. it may break your heart to see this, but i was really really really disappointed...im sorry

anw dinner with the jap OT girls last night was really great! they gave us each a card that was handmade and again treat us for dinner and intro the traditional dessert to us, which was really yummy...it had agar pieces, some nuts, one scope of ice cream and red bean paste. yup, then have to say goodbye! goodness! I will miss them!

2009-10-21T02:16:00.000-07:00

Day 28 (21/10/09)
Last day of attachment!!!!! going to osaka in 2 days! WOOTS! haiz....mt fuji still don't want to let me see him! haiz...today is like the clearest liao la! Haiz...oh whatever...so yup, today report for work...so yup, took the same no. of pt and same pt as yesterday...so did parameters, then give drip.

then 10.30am go down to OT to look see look see! OMG la! we can wear normal shoes into the OT lor...so the OT is considered not very sterile? haha...but it was cool! really! yup...then walked around OT and we actually saw surgeons doing op la!

After that, went back to ward, change drip and all then see my preceptor give platelets...ya then 12 plus had lunch after that was conference, then we took group photo. then i give my gift...hehe...then went to collect urine then she talk to me...then say bye. then gave maw and I 2 notebooks and a packet of sweets! So sweet la...yesterday alr gave me mochi today give somemore...so yup...not too bad for the last day. she bring me go say bye bye to the pts somemore....

so yup! dinner at okonomiyaki wif the ot gals later and tomorrow feedback then im so going to get the shoes! WOOTS! HEHE.....

And day after tomorrow, OSAKA! So, no more blog post. I pronouce this blog is dead! HAHA...

2009-10-20T00:57:00.000-07:00

Day 27 (20/10/09)
3 more days to Osaka! And tomorrow will be my last day in the ward! the long awaited day! Haha...

So today, the patients i took care of are from the clean room oralso known as positive air pressure room. to prevent themselves from getting an infection or to prevent their own infection from getting to others. for my ward's case, it should usually be the first. So yup, took vital signs...then change drip, give drip and gave one bolus! Hehe...

So yup, then that took one whole morning...of course got include report checking and all la! haha...so had lunch! I forgot to bring my own bento! I made it already but forgt to bring it along. probably too gan chiong coz overslept by 21min this morning...so had to buy lunch...but oh well, can eat it tomorrow then.

So after lunch, my preceptor just keyed in morning's information and at 1.25pm, I followed Ito san to go to one room for the whole hosp orientation. so yup, met chika in the room and followed by the deputy director. she's really bz! after the orientation, she went off liao...oh we both received 2 pens, one file, one note pad and one hanky! hehe...

so yup, went back to ward, ueda san suppose to take blood but the pt was not in bed, so did para for another 2 pts. then check on the pt we suppose to take blood from, he is still not in so another day then. mt fuji still don't want to let me see its beauty. weather from far is still a little foggy...so i cant see the snow caps! Yup...left at 3pm go changed up...

then went to pastry shop to get cakes! hehe...the shop itself smells nice lor! So yup...later will be meeting miyako for dinner for unagi don! Im going to try it...

Oh ya, this morning when i went to the locker, i open the door, inside got so many male students la! I was like, how am i going to change? and i need to go to work somemore! so i changed in the female toilet then knocked on the door again and asked to put my bag...haiz...so paiseh...then just now wanted to go meet chika but she wasnt there...so haruka said the teacher called and say 506 was the guys room, next time it will be better if we changed in the girls room at 405...haha i have been climbing one extra level for don't know how many times la!

so yup...paiseh...but nevermind, tomorrow i will put my bag in the ward...hehe!

thats all for today!

2009-10-19T01:01:00.000-07:00

so, weekend post again!

Day 24 (17/10/09)
So saturday...was raining after so many days of sunshine! And I hate it raining here! So the plan was to go to alight at the first busstop where we wante to shop then walk up, then take bus to station...so we alighted and walked on...raining and freaking cold!so we walked, jeans shop, bull dog...bulldog is a big shop that have almost everything except fresh food...but yet, i got nothing but letter paper! So boring! haha...then moved on in the heavier rain! bought mochi ice cream and green tea ice cream coated in chocolate! haha its freaking cold and yet we bought ice cream! hehe! ya, then walked on to the so called exciting amusement which i thought was arcade! Haha when I went in, it was pachinko! Something i wanted to try for experience! hehe...so we managed to get the staff to teach us how to play as well as the jackpot! haha...

After that, the rain stopped! And in that place, you can smoke lor! music so loud and full of cigarette smell, but it was fun! Haha...then i bought the red bean fish pancake, but instead of pancake, its mochi la! so stretchy! think the pancake one is better!

Then got on the bus to downtown...I bought nothing except coffee from starbucks and kebab for dinner and cup kebab for next day breakfast as well as donut! Oh, the kebab is really great! better than in Sg de! And it is big...but of coz more costly! So walked around and Maw got her high cut shoes that she love! Haha...its nice! but not really my type.

then back home...i asked her what can i wear it with! goodness! say until my heart also itchy to get it! But its 60 plus sgd la! Anyway, she bring me go coach and burberry! wow! the wallets are great la! but is 400sgd and more! tell me should i get it?! boo hoo hoo!

Wrote love letters until 2am! haha...but i wasnt sleepy!

Day 25 (18/10/09)
Sunday...woke up at 7am, then 8am, then 9am, and finally 10am! Haha...had my breakfast which was really good, the donut was a disappointment! Hehe...probably, the cold wind blow it hard! So i decided to go get coffee! And who knows! I SAW HIM!The him that stay above us! And i finally saw him after 11 days!

Haha so yup...went to meet wakuda san at 12nn. her friend came along too! Yoshihiko! One name that I can never get right! haha...yup...we went to have nabe! Seafood and chicken nabe but not kani nabe that daron and duke always say! lol...so yoshi treated us and he is super crappy! and he drives really scary! haha...anyway, after that, we went bird park and it was a super duper long ride! The birdpark was great! the birds are all free to roam around! hehe...you can even buy bird feed to feed the birds! and those who fed the birds have so many birds standing on them, and also, quite a few bird shit! Hehe...lucky i got none although i have a few birds on me!

after that, we send yoshi home, then wakuda drove us to flower park! Its nice in the night! but i think day time will be better! so yup...after that, went to have sushi for dinner!

So continue writting love letters! Haha suppose to pack but abit nothing to pack so yup, going to pack tonite i guess! haha

Day 26 (19/10/09)
Monday blues! alarm rang at 6am...but i dont even want to wake up! off the alarm and went back to slp...first time im doing this in Japan! Haha...but dragged myself out of bed! after showering you will feel better...i told myself! wahahaha....abit better lor!

So went out at 7am wanted to throw rubbish, stupid bin never open! they dont collect rubbish during weekends but public hols will collect?! So crappy! then put back the rubbish and went to wait for bus!

Haha...i had 25min to 8.30am...so decided to shop around the convience shop in the hospital until sometime then go up! so my preceptor has no pt to take care of, so she asked if anywhere i want go...so i say paeds! so arranged, then she bring me around to A8 where maw is working...no luck today, still misty around fuji, cant see the snow cape! I left 2 more days! Pls let me see fuji! hehe....then...she bring me to level 2, pass by ICU then so happen this wk is infection control week. so nurses, doctors all help to set up a small corner that have interaction! Hehe...i had fun there! super good! Then, we went to the kitchen, and a room that i thought was the chapel...but it turned out to be a room where they put the dead pt and grieving family members while waiting for casket people to come! I really had the creeps at first!

then we went to the next room which is a fridge...guess you can tell whats the fridge for? in the same room, there a door that leads to a room where autopsy is done! too bad, we cant open it!

So 11am, went to the peads ward to see the layout...it happen to be in the oldest building so it really looks old...and pictures everywhere...but i still prefer KK though...doctors there are hot too! haha...but overall was quite alright only i thought...not as exciting as i thought the peads ward will be.

1.30pm had a sit in at DM class, and the nurse not only taught the pt how to care for their feet, she check their feet one by one! so yup, after that, went back ward to observe doctors giving chemo drugs into bone marrow to prevent spreading of the cancer!

tonight cooking dinner! hehe! 4 more days to Osaka!

2009-10-16T00:32:00.000-07:00

Day 23 (16/10/09)
How selfish can high school kids here get?! taking a seat in the bus and the seat next to them sits their bag! they shld pay for their own bus fare as well as their bag's too! dumbass kids! Grow up man! already in high school and still so inconsiderate! Stupid bodoh idiots!

so rush hour, have to leave my house at 7 plus...to get to hospital by 8.30am. Left alone cause i starts at 8.30am she starts at 9am. different wards...but oh well, its alot better than sg liao so no complains! 'chi de qi ku!' I can do it! So what if she has a locker given to her in the ward and i have to use the locker at level 5 at some scary place?! i left 3 days, it should be very fast! And I know I can do it! I can de! the whole purpose is to be independent! yes! geez...guess world skills taught me to be able to be tough, but seems like i already forgotten about it! haha...oh well, so here we go again!

took the 7.20 plus bus, reached there at 8am. but the time i change and report to work, left 5min to 8.30am lor! so breathless! so yup, after morning report, i was introduced, as usual...this ward people, probably i talk to my preceptor in chi so they dont really dare to talk to me in English...so seems abit or rather very not close...haiz...oh well, 3 more days! So today, after report, do vital signs lor! as usual...just that the first patient we took super long, cause must clean then suppose to change position but yt he shitted...so change diapers and all....

then...see how my preceptor gave IV...yup...then see the doctor give bolus of chemo drugs, then prepare water for patient to sponge herself...then did blood sugar monitoring...then saw patient gave herself insulin...yup...den lunch...den nurses conference den wash patient's hair!

super cool lor, just put a few pieces of protective sheets that can absorb water...then wash patients hair with water and soap...then ltr blow dry hair somemore! power! haha...but today is abit boring...monday 1.30-2.30pm got DM class to sit in...then wed will be able to go to OT to see!!!! so hopefully next wk will be better!

after work, went to mag and book shop to see...I found kindaichi comics lor! but only in jap no english! haiz...and their comics are super duper light la! den later going to meet chika san and shizuka sensei for dinner! and got yuka to buy fuji cakes for me!!!! yippee...lifespan of cake is 20 days...still got time to eat when i get home! haha...its really yummy lor!!!! haha....

2009-10-15T00:50:00.000-07:00

Day 22(15/10/09)
the beginning of the last wk! haha...so erm...7 more days to Osaka! hehe...today, as the debuty director of nursing have something on, so she cant give us a briefing on how the hospital works and all, so after changing in the locker place (which was 5th storey and no lift) we head off to the hospital with Chika and Haruka san.

then, met the in charge from the 2 wards, A8 and B8. I think maw suppose to go to B8 but the preceptor there speaks chinese so they posted me to B8 instead...so yup! I got a preceptor that can speaks a little chi and a little jap! Haha...maw says her ward is fun cause hers is palliative care...so cheering pt up shld be one of the main objective...but oh well, I got a preceptor that I like as well...so nothing to complain about...

so chika went wif me for orientation...haha my ward sister is Ito san again...another Ito san of course...just that both of them have the same family name! haha...then after orientation, i was to follow my preceptor...ueda san...so yup, her chinese is really china chinese lor! no play play! haha...i think 20 yrs ago, she went to china for 4 mth of chinese lessons, so that's where she pick up her chinese and met her husband...haha...so cool lor, her husband is african who can speaks chinese, english and japanese! haha...she say shes jealous of her husband...and when she try to tell me her husband, she say her 'ai ren' wah...cant take it la! or biang! hehe...but yup, shes good!

so after i was with her, she went through in details...really detail about the computer system and their way of assessing their patients. Japan took alot of concept from America so yup...many types of concepts and she went through one by one with me...like alot and confusing!

yup...then we observe another staff giving platelets to the patient. oh ya, my ward is haematology ward...so mainly deals with cancer related to blood and some HIV patients. so there are 10 positive air pressure rooms for patients who have really low resistance. the hospital is 5-10min walk from the bus stop and on top of that, you have to go to this building to change first then go to your ward...so abit troublesome! haha...

then had lunch...after that, saw doctor and the leader for the day discussing on patients condition...then saw the drug trolley...also, the nurses daily conference on different topics...and later sponge a patient...the gown is cloth, but is rewear...so first, they have 3 pails of water to sponge patient. first pail with soap is use to clean the pt body. second pail...i dont know what it is for...the last pail is for patient to soak his feets in after wiping his body...and that pt skin is really dry.so we have to scrub the legs in the pail of water...i scrub all the huge pieces of dry skin off...felt disgusted...so after that at 3pm went to see bone marrow aspiration...goodness...its so painful la! first, the doctor put this metal thing in, twist and turn, think they trying to get it into the bone...then suddenly, the thing will sink in, so it is in...then they will draw the marrow out. according to the patient, it is super painful...yup so i see 2 patients...then went off...theres one really friendly doctor...coz the room very small, so i was peering from a gap in the curtains...then after he inserted the metal thing into the bone and was about to take syringe to draw the marrow, he stop and peek through the curtain to see what the person behind the curtain(which is me) was doing...den ask me to go to the other side to see...but its just so crampy in that room...haha...

so after im done, already 3.15pm...maw should have gone back...told chika san to tell her to go back first...and knowing she cant live without internet, she would have left even before i told her...so yup, i went back alone...haha...its not so bad afterall, haha...not forgting shes a directory idiot, we came to hosp with chika san...so when i have to leave, i really think hard at every junction to see where i have to turn...its abit confusing though...but i managed to reached the bus stop without getting lost! haha...and i still shop at one pharmacy somemore...then when i check my phone at the bus stop, i got 2 missed call from her, so i called but no ans, then bus arrived so i bought the bus...and haha...called back, she pick up and tell me that she just reached the bus stop! Wahahaha...i was like 'you left half an hr ago!' and she said shes lost! haha...who ask her dont wait for me! end up walking more than she should and wasting so much time!

HAHAHAHAHAHA.......too bad lor! but yup, dinner home tonight...thing im going to bring rice over tomorrow...must try and finish the rice! hehe...take care and have a good day!

2009-10-14T00:35:00.000-07:00

Day 21 (14/10/09)
Ok! today marks the end of attachment at eden no sono and the 3rd wk in Japan! 8 more days and i will be heading for Osaka!
Haha...i realise suddenly last night why im so independent...haha like i wake up on the dot and at times way before...then i plan when to wash my clothes, when to throw rubbish and when to start packing for Osaka and what to pack, etc. It's like since i landed in Japan, i have never stopped planning...oh what to do, my partner left her brains in Singapore! haha...

ok, so the Ot girls have returned to Sg yesterday morning...so now left 2 of us again...yup and i realise that some of the leaves have started to turn red! im so eager to see them all turn red! the autumn leaves! Don't ask me why, but i have no idea why im so eager to see the autumn leaves...hehe

so last day at eden no sono...in the morning, i requested to observe showering as i have not seen it yet...so she say ok, the toilet at my level is for immobile pt where they have a big bath tub. but today is shower day for mobile male patients, so its at level 2...so only have mini bathtub...:( but anyway, before that, followed hono san to send patient up to the 4th floor for rehabilitation...followed by observing foot care. In this place, foot care means to soak the pt feet into hot water for 10-15min and massage...to promote circulation as most of the time they are in wheelchair and don't really use their feet. so yup...goodness, hono san can really squat for long! i squat and stand squat and stand...hehe cant take it! then 9.30am, i was to follow kato san to shower the male pt. so we wheel them down to level 2 and shower them...it was kind of a long process. first you have to change into slippers, then fold up your track pants, then put on the apron...remove your pt clothes, bring him to the bathing seat and shower...then let him soak in bath...then dry...ya and power lor, you can bathe 2 pt at one time...i thought the pt will feel paiseh...but oh well...after its done, you have to scrub everything that comes in contact with the pt...go into the bathtub and scrub it k! and the pt shit in the bathtub la! i want cry lor!!!! but at end of everything, you have to wash your legs and hands...hehe oh ya, you have to fold up the apron if you are going to fetch other pt...looks really awful! haha...

then after that, wheeled pt out for walk with kato san. then he bring us to a super nice place...i cant rmb what its called, but its super duper nice! like a small park. theres a pool with a small fountain, then in there, there are many huge koi! really nice! and they have this super nice smelling flower in level 3 as well as the park...and red leaves! its a really nice place!!!! yup, then back to care centre, served them lunch, feed one pt lunch, then went back to green pension for lunch...

after lunch, cleaned wheelchair again, then hono san say 'let's going shopping with so and so' and i was like SHOPPING?! haha...so we wheeled her to the place where the shops have set up a bazzar...and first we approached the shoe shop, where she got a pair of shoes that cost 6000 plus yen...then clothes shop and she got a jacket or top for dont know how many thousand yen also...so far the most expensive top i saw was 9800 yen! so ex la! really costly! wow!

after shes done and i had alot of fun, we went back to care centre and the staff said she had to go to the clinic so off we went to the clinic and i saw her got her chicken pox jab. then send her back to her room, hono san return her purchases after writing her name in them. Washed my hands and get the stuff to give them...

then was the end of the day! really fun! tonight going to have dinner with yukimi and friends...wonder what we are eating! hehe...and sato san cried when we said goodbye...so sweet la she!

yup my last entry for 3rd wk in Hamamatsu!!!!!!

2009-10-13T00:28:00.000-07:00

ok, posts for the wkends:

Day 17 (10/10/09)
Haha! the party from 6.30-8 on Friday, was great! then followed by our own personal party was better! haha...arm wrestling seems to be a common game now, haha and im always the champion, but dont see them small size, they are super strong! haha...yup, then sayaka was super high that night! haha...didnt ended until 11 plus...hehe but it started at 9 plus though...yup so still high, i suggested to bunk in at maws room with shu ling...coz we say dont slp, talk until sun rise...haha so we bathe, brought our blanket and pillow and bunk in!!!! oh, our blankie is super cushion-ny...its comforter rather...but oh well, the moment we set our blankets down, and lights off, we only speak one sentence, then maw and i fell asleep! hehe...

yup so on saturday, arrange to meet shu ling at 10am to go bread shop but, she woke up at 7am, i woke at 8.30am. so of course, she went back to her room to change and all, then at 8.30 then i head for my room...maw slept like a log always, but she managed to open the door for me...hehe...after i bathe, at 10am, shu ling came and tell me say she went to the bakery liao coz she is bored! wah...never mind lor, i bought yakisoba last night for breakfast so no worries! hehe... so 11am, crash maws room again, packed up and get ready to head for downtown...

when we reached downtown, we went for lunch at macs first, cause shu ling going home soon and she havent tried macs here...so yup! then we went zaza city to let her buy the 580 yen clothes...hehe and i finally managed to get the one i really like!!!! yay!!!!! haha....so walked around somemore then we head to the car lane to meet miyako to head for onsen!

Yippee!!!!! onsen was good, too bad we cant take photos inside or it would have been super good. i definitly prefer the outdoor onsen, it has always been better cause i prefer cold than hot...haha, but now just autumn so still not very cold yet. ya so inside the onsen, you get your own locker, lock your belongings, then head into the bath...so first you must wash your body with soap at the bathing area...then we went to soak in a pool of hot water which is really hot! haha then we went over to the jacuzzi area, the jet was super strong la! i put my back to the jet, but i was afraid it will harm my backbone so i tried the side, it hit my thigh...and its super painful, so i hide in a small corner instead...hehe...then we went to the outdoor...the pool of water is called silk water, the water color is misty white...but is super hot...i almost couldnt take it...hehe...then we soaked in green tea followed by soda water...haha shu ling and i was playing with the bubbles on our hands and legs! hehe...so fun la! then i tried sauna...but you are in a wooden box but with your head out...its fun! suppose to sit for 15min and the temp is 45 degrees, but i left after awhile cause the rest of them went in to soak...so yup, didnt want them to wait too long...but the sauna was really good! steam bath...dame! cant make it! my glasses fog up and i nv like steam bath...so yup...then after suana, i tried the feet bath which is kinda pointless, then the sleeping bath...good to sleep coz the water is like only 2-3cm high...then, i went in to join them, they were already washing their hair, so i started washing mine...there was 3 bottles, one green is shampoo, white is conditioner and orange is body soap...so mine happen to be green white green...so i started washing my hair with the green one. then when i wanted to use conditioner, of course i will go for the white one and shu ling confirm with me somemore, then when i was applying the conditioner, i was thinking why it is so foamy! then when i wash off, wah my hair was super duper stiff, so check with miyako, she said it was another brand and it was body soap! haha...my hair! so when i rewash, shu ling was already done but i shower at 20 plus degrees she shower at 40 degrees i guess, so when i was rewashing my hair, she, being next to me sure kena abit of my water, and she kept complaining cold, then she spray water at herself, but some of it hit me and i was complaining hot! haha...funny la!!! after that, we went to soak in some tea bath then miyako ask us to rinse at some shower...and we left! so fast la! she never even say go off lor, if i noe, i will scrub harder! after that i smelt like tea leaf egg!!!!! so yup, when we approach our lockers, miyako realise that her clothes in the locker was gone! we search every locker and finally she open the locker next to hers and her clothes were there! haha! all the time she was holding the key to the wrong locker!!!!

so after that, the routine is, to get something cold to drink...yup and we procceeded to a shop that sells traditional jap stuff...wanted to get a wallet, but the design is either not nice, if not, the wallet feels super soft...so nah...then maw got post card, so if you get something from the shop, you can get a drink and a small snack free, so i try the snack, its nice...and so i wanted to buy back sg, then i told maw, ok, i get it, then we can eat agn for free...so went to pay...the cashier wanted to give us the card for tea but miyako said we already had!!!! Wa lao! plan fail man! the sg and the jp mindset can never match!

we had dinner at a sushi shop...so theirs is conveyer belt but if you order, you either use computer or you call through an intercom...the the food will be delivered to you on the belt on a plate that have your table name. so miyako ordered some tuna sushi and we each have one, maw ate hers and ask me what is it...i said tuna lor...then when i sank my teeth into it, oh my god! its so mushy and not nice...but ya, after sushi, we went for their festival...same thing food stalls and game stalls then also, they have their traditional cars where people will drag those carts below...was fun, but tiring! haha...they have choco banana (which aint sweet at all and the chocolate kept sticking to your teeth), apple candy (apple coated in sugar-not as nice as you think) and some salted rice cracker where you can use brush to draw on it which honey or melted sugar,then coloured sugar will be applied on it. yup...thats for the day....

Day 18 (11/10/09)
Sunday...meeting yukimi and friends in school at 1pm...aim to sleep until 10.30am...woke up at 8 plus, check my phone and shu ling sms me saying that she knocked on my door but i was sleeping...hehe...then i went back to bed until 10.30am...so 1pm met yukimi, mina and their friend sayaka...haha so they say go flower park, but we have appt for that liao so change...then let us choose yamaha museum, unagi pie factory and fruit park...ungai pie fac lor! so bought alot of unagi pie! hehe...then...went to aeon to shop again...then had sushi for dinner again! this time more high tech, order via com and the food serve to you on the upper conveyer belt! haha...but it was nicer, environment too was better...so i ate the most, and later yukimi say they treat! wah...feel so bad la! then she say cause back in sg, we treat her alot also...haha...so yup...then went back and we arranged to meet on wed!

Day 19 (12/10/09)
Monday! Shu lings birthday, the jap OT girls wanted to celebrate her birthday, so they say they will come at 12nn. And shu ling wanted to visit her hospital to say goodbye to the stuff and she will only be back by 1pm. But on the day itself, she changed her mind, she say she just walking around and she came back 10am plus! wah, then we all( shu ling, kelly, maw and i) we were in maw room crapping, waiting for the jap girls to come...its so hard to keep shu ling in the house cause i think shes hungry! haha...so finally, close to 1pm, the girls are here! and we had a party of drinks and hotdog bread, tuna sandwhich, egg mayo sandwhich, strawberry jam sanwhich, ham sandwhich...all prepared by the jap girls...then kelly bought gyoza and sushi...so it was nice...then shu ling's birthday cake! it was a pudding made by megumi and sayaka!!! so after transfering the pudding, they decorate it with whipped cream, peaches, tangerines and pineapple! and everyone tugged in!!!! it was really nice!!!! then at 4 plus, we left for daiso to take puripura...haha neo print...and it has so many heads in it! haha...kawaii!!!! then, we rushed back...the jap girls gave kel and shu a card each and its really nicely done!!!! then 7 we say goodbye then rushed to meet wakuda san...her friend and her brought the 4 of us for dinner at ramen shop and it was really good!!!! superb! then head for flower park, but left half an hr so no point going...then we head for aeon...then home...my stomach was really crappy...gave me the runs!

Day 20 (13/10/09)
Ok after a long long wkend, really no mood to start work again! haha...but oh well, reported to work early in fact...haha...so washed the dishes, clean the table then sato san asked me to go to level 2 to ask maw preceptor qns...then send me up to see how the residence do exercises...so first they play a video then later get them lined up in front of bars and start doing light exercises...then tea time, then i asked to follow the nurse to see what she do here...then later she have to give residence at other levels to do insulin...so i tell her i cant, i can only stay at this level so yup, served lunch, then had my own lunch...then after lunch, before i can start anything, sato san asked me to go with her for nurse coaching...it turned out to be nurses conference over pt, condition...but it was all in japan and i can only understand sensei and hospice...i was stoning out la! then...followed the nurse manager to do home visiting in the apartments! its really like someone's home...so kinda cool, see how they pack meds for the pt and all...then they even have a sensor to tell the nurses if you are at home or not lor! super cool!

so after that, went back green pension awhile and came here...going to cook dinner tonight...coz we left 9 more days here of which, not everyday we are cooking, and i still have rice! haha...

2009-10-09T00:36:00.000-07:00

Day 16(9/10/09)
21 days more!!!! weeeeeeeeeeeee.......ok typhoon ended for now, we dont know if it will come back...but pray for the best that thats the end! so now, sun is out and it is just a little chilly...so yup!

this morning started our attachment at eden no sono!!! so when we went out, maw suddenly say she wanna throw rubbish then never mind, this guy came coming down from don't know which level which 3 big bags of rubbish!!!! wah, he dont throw rubbish for dont know how many days leh!!! lol...den i recognise him! that cool looking med stud but came into the ward with a twist!!! DOTS!!!! haha...but ya, its his fren! so chop chop confirm!!!! he lives upstairs! then never mind, a lady have 2 bags of rubbish and she push a trolley wif her rubbish to the bin! WOW!!!! and when we walked passed our apartment, i saw the guy wif 3 bags of rubbish at his balcony...counting...and i realise he is that fellow that lives above me and makes so much noise everytime!

haha ya so met the patient that gave me the watch...den went to eden no sono...same thing greeted by the director for care services and followed by a talk on the history and what they do...i guess the coffee i drank this morning was a little too much! hence diuretics!!!! i had to hold the urge to pee for quite long...then when we start walking arnd, we went to relieve ourselves! hehe...so after orientation, i went to my ward (its not really ward but some 3rd level care centre) so yup, stayed there, serve tea, do mouth exercises with them and serve diet. the patients were having ramen! haha...oh and they are called residents not patients....

actually eden no sono is a kind of retirement home...so you buy a right to live there with 60 million yen...ya then every month you have to pay 200 000 yen for maintance...so in there is actually a small apartment...then you live there and not with your children. criteria to be able to buy one is you must be at least 60 yrs and independent. but if you get old and fall sick, where you cant take care of yourself, you have to transfer to the care service centre, whereby, in there is also an apartment but you receive 24 hrs care...there will be program for the residence in there and even field trip. cool thing is that, even the bank lady and post office will come so that residence dont have to go too far to send letter or withdraw money! and supermarkets will come too!!!! so yup...its a place for the rich actually!

so after serving diet, i was told to watch a lady eating cause she always eats very fast, which is not good for elderly...but today, she ate very slow...hehe...so i went dwon to level 2 to meet maw for lunch at 12.10nn. but she was feeding her residence so yup waited until 12.25pm then we went to school for lunch. Wanted pasta with poached egg but its beef so i got ramen...ohhhhh and its yummy, the noodle taste like our sheng mian which was good! hehe...im missing the one at AMK! haha...ya then we met the jap ot girls followed by OT girls from sg...haha...so i kpo go buy some green tea drink from the vending machine without knowing what it is...and when i drank it, is meiji milk that is green tea flav...yuck! i can only drink HL milk!!!!!!! haha...but i tried my best to finish all....then nvm, no dustbin all the way till eden no sono...finally i found one, i threw it in and i realise it was for paper!!!!! shhhhhhhhhhhhh.....haha so wen back to my level 3 then i clean 2 wheelchair and was taught how to inspect the wheelchairs....followed by that, enter the shower room to fill the bath tub...and its cool lor!

then another staff and i we walk the 2 residence in wheelchair and it was cool! it was good, wheeling the residence...let them breathe fresh air...lucky its not too cold...i dun hv my coat on! hehe....ya then after one round, we wheeled another 2 more residence...and now, she went another way, and down slope, we have to push the residence with their back to the slope...i know that but i never thought it was very hard!!!! walk backwards down a slope and support a wheelchair at the same time, it is super tough!!!! but i conqured it!!!! hehe....and when we were done with the second walk, its tea time...and 3pm so i had to go!!!

so went back green pension changed and clear up maw room for tonite party! so today, very little time for internet as we have a party in school at 6.30 - 8. followed by our personal party!!!! yay!!!! chaos!

2009-10-07T23:12:00.000-07:00

Day 15 (8/10/09)
22 more days! Wow time flies fast, and typhoon has already hit Hamamatsu! Oh well, happily waking me up at 4am! I only slept for 4-5 hrs la, then the wind blew some stupid 1.5l plastic bottle to my balcony and it just wont stop making a din!!!! I was having a dream la! then got woken up at 4am...stupid racket! But oh well, it wasnt a sweet dream! hehe...maw say even in dreams you have love rival! haha...too bad lor! but it doesnt matters now...haha...

ya, imagine waking up, you hear that racket from the bottle, then from the main door, you hear the howling of the wind...its terrible! in the room by yourself, sleepy and tired...then finally when you almost managed to doze off, a loud screech was heard! eyes open wide again...and then your lights flickered...praying hard not to get a black out, i grabbed my torchlight and with my glasses on i doze off again! haha...and was awaken by some sound and all...its terrible the door to my blacony sounded like it was going to crash under the wind!

and so i doze off and wake up, on and off for dont know how long...and get all kinds of weird dreams!!! its really terrible! to make matters worst, i felt hungry at 4am, goodness...told myself i will get my breakfast 3 hrs later but! i forgt to buy breakfast! wah...lucky got one can of coffee...so decided to heat it up for breakfast then go kapo something from maw...hehe then we make our way to the location where Chika san ask us to meet her...

later she say that eden no sono said there was black out, so they cant let us do the orientation...so ya...attachment was cancelled! yup, and chika san was in rubber boots and waterproof coat lor! yup, so she send us back to green pension where i crash maws room until i decided to go back to my room and sleep...i cant sleep lor...so i laze in my room until 11.30am then i went over to cook my lunch...so i decided i should not ill treat myself and since i have time, i might as well cook more...hehe so heres my lunch menu: jap rice with seaweed seasoning + curry which is a bit too watery + clam chowder + tuna & cucumber salad + matcha latte!!!! hehe...im crazy over cans coffee now la! dont know why! hehe...but ya, i had a super filling meal...decided to save my salad for another day...so yup

oh haha forget to mention what is destroyed when morning arrives...hehe one of the nightmare i got was that i found that one of the tall bushes outside my balcony actually falls into my house and is kiap underneath my balcony door, so i had to push it up. so first thing i did was to check my balcony...haha oh well, one of the bushes (or tree) fell...really but it fell outwards...so indeed dreams are the opposite! haha then the bicycle that was always parked outside room 103 suddenly lay at the centre of the corridor blocking our path...so i guess i guess thats where the screeched coming from. and a few bicycles parked below the staircase, had fall flat on the ground and one even had the seat detached from the body...and shurbs were everywhere...

ya but after lunch, the sun was already out liao...so yup, cool but theres the heat...it is so good to see mr sun again after so many days of miss rain!!!! and we were told to stay in as the school's internet was also not working...everywhere had black out except my mr doctor's work place...hehe...so yup, until 2 plus, where we got calls from teachers and chika san...we had to come down to school to email the teachers and might as well use the com!

hehe...i am going to stock my coffee...hehe and tonight going out with maw's staff nurse for dinner! haha...she ll fetch us near our house...and yukimi emailed me to meet up on sunday...and saturday im so going to onsen (hot spring) yay!!!!!!!

yup, just did weather check, its fine! at least in Hamamatsu, its fine!

2009-10-07T00:08:00.000-07:00

Day 14...
23 more days to home! 14 days to Osaka!!!!
Haha...end of my attachment at Seirei Mikatahara General Hospital...aww...i will miss the nurses there!!!!
Hamamatsu is expecting typhoon either tonight or tomorrow...but attachment still goes on...haha...and it is super irritating...rain is getting heavier!!!!!!!!
So today...haha I nurse an HIV patient and an MRSA patient...happily nursing them on the first and second day without any gloves and not knowing their special condition....wah!!!!!!!!so did the routine stuff today...like diaper change, then vital signs...ya then i observe how they give nebulizer to patients...and the steam kinda stink...hehe

then i was told to shave my patient...omg la! i was so scared i will cut them, but i guess this shaver is pull hair de...duno how it works but ya...i shave...i nv ever shave patients before lor! my first time was given to an electric shaver....haha....and they share the shaver with the whole ward...as long as you have no contact precaution is alright! I say contact precaution not fluid precaution! hehe...oh well, if you get my hint!

then did changing of position and feeding through tubes...it is so much easier here...you pour the feed(usually milk) into a glass canister( the canister is alr attached to a drip set) then immerse the canister into a pill of warm water to warm the milk. then later bring the milk to the patient and run it like a drip...save so much of time lor!!!! haha...and thing is, when the milk runs out, it seems ok to leave it that way for an hour or so....

ya then i saw rehab for swallowing...they insert a camera into the nose, then feed patient food with all kinds of consistency...eg porridge, jelly, mashed potatoe, tomato sauce, mashed eggs, etc. to check if the patient is able to swallow the food into the stomach and not the trachea(windpipe)

ya...then after lunch, i just asked permission to take photo of their linen room, but uchizaki san actually brought me arnd the ward to show me all the amazing stuff and let me take photo...so sweet lor!!!! haha.... then after that, feed the meds through the tubes and sit in for some conference...and later she bring me to a patient who have internal shunt for dialysis...then she ask me to hear,and its kinda cool you hear shush sound every few seconds...she try to get me to feel it but i cant really feel anitink just a buldge on the patient's arm...ya then before i left, a patient gave me a nurse watch! and the face of the watch is super big! she said mine is too small, so she gave me a super big one! haha...but shes sweet, her english is considered not bad liao!!!! ya so thats for today!

2009-10-06T00:15:00.000-07:00

Day 13 (6/10/09)
24 more days left and 15 more days to Osaka!!!!! Ok today is my second last day in Seirei Mikatahara Byoin Ward C4...so this is what i did today...in the morning...saw how Chida san prepare the stuff for injection and set drip...its so so different...no usage of kidney dish but a plastic bag...and no need for sterility...wow...it is super super different...then for intramuscular injection, they have to rub the injected region...and one patient requires a drip but she has no plug, so chida san just set a plug straight away...nurses here can really do everything...but she set the plug really fast and good and neat...goodness, even doctors in Sg cant even do it la...people like chida san can do it fast and neat also put protective sheet...those idiot doctors who know they are going to spill blood everywhere, pls be considerate and put protective sheets ma...make nurses do more work nia!!!!!

haha and their sharp box(the box we use to throw needle in Singapore-ours is yellow) is red...the best thing is, no only do they throw needles, they also throw used ampole( glass or plastic) sometimes syringes also goes in. Their medicine order and patient records are in the computer so all the drips and injection solution are prepared by their material dept and send up to the ward...meaning in a trolley, there is the whole ward supply of drips and injections required for the day...convienent lor!!!so they just have to remove and double check, prepare and serve...and they sign off using chop...or stamp same in sg but just that theirs is in red and is like those chinese way of stamp...one round circle with their surname in knaji(chi characters) inside the circle. haha and the plug in Sg only can keep for 3 days...sometimes we only change on the 5th or 6th day...in Japan, the plug can be kept max 1wk...and if condition is good can be kept till 2wks...like WTH!!!!! haha...

to make work easier for the stuff, they actually have signs that read as 'today is my bathing day' hung on the head of the bed of the patient...haha...and patients can wash their clothes in the hospital if they like...100yen for 1hr...then after that they can spin dry their clothes for 100yen/ hour...so cool...

for patients whom they need to measure urine and ask the patient to press callbell when she needs to go to the toilet, but yet the patient refuse to press the callbell, the nurses put a mat on the floor so when the patient stands up on the mat, the nurses are aware because its a call mat!!!! haha...like totally cool!!!

drugs are also different...we only have one locked cabinet for controlled drugs, they have 3 locked cabinet...1 for poison, 1 for narcortics and one for anti-hypnotics...and the record book is out in the open...only anti-hypnotics, narcortics and another type of drugs needs to be checked daily...the other type of drugs are emergency drugs for high fever, high blood pressure, heart problems, cold, etc...all must be ordered by dr before they can be served.

like i say, the nurses here really can do anything...chida san even took blood culture for one of the patients!!! culture to see any bacteria in the blood...usually in Sg is done by doctors, but nurses here really have to do it...they dont even have cleaners here...hence, all the rubbish that they throw, they have to clear it themselves...just that their bins are not as dirty as ours...theirs is really clean...

taking blood sugar level has no difference, just that they uses a injection pen while we use disposal needles...and their insulin is via insulin pen...no insulin needle...

so yup, after lunch, went to dialysis room to see see...they have so many beds for the patients! and patients lie on bed while they are having dialysis and they even have a small tv screen to watch TV...each session takes about 4 hrs and 3x a wk they have to go for dialysis...so sad la...and as the dialysis fluid is very expensive, the hospital decided to make their own fluid...is hard work...machine A will dissolve powder A, machine B will dissolve powder B and machine C will clean the water...then all 3 solutions will be mixed together to be dialysis fluid...

after that, i joined the ventilator class which was taught by the staff in the ward to some new staff...was quite alright...chida san translate to me...and i did learnt abit in school so it was not too bad...at 2.30pm, we left the room to see the emergency trolley...they have a defibrillator and according to chida san, is monophasic(one way)...they their e-trolley is never locked and check only once a day and after use...the equipments for endo-tracheal tube insertion are on a tray but it looks kinda messey coz everything is stacked together...then their ambu-bag is already set up and place in a plastic bag...is faster but don't look very clean though....hehe...

after that, she told me about the plans for tomorrow...i will take charge of 2 patients...wah, she freaked me out la! i thought i have to write report and all...i forgt it has to be in japanese...but what she meant is that these 2 patients will be my primary patients and i will be with them the whole day to see how patients live their lives in the hospital...writing report and all, my preceptor will do it...phew! and so happen one of the patient she arranged for me has HIV...and tell me if i dun wan, they can change the patient for me...i thought it was ok...of course, i will be scared at first but being a nurse, you cant choose your patients and we have to be non- judgemental...and i thought it will be a good experience to nurse a HIV patient...with enough protection, it should be no problem!!!!! I can do it! Nothing is impossible!!!!!!

Guess im going to cook dinner agn!!! haha...planning a party this friday as the OT girls are going to go back singapore on monday...and its friday night!!!! time to party!!!!! calling jap gals over too! haha...and at the same time, celebrate shu ling's birthday! haha....looking forward!!!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE........................

finishing soon!!!!

2009-10-05T00:30:00.000-07:00

Day 10 (3/10/09)
Dee is waiting for the formation of autumn leaves...hehe...so yup on the 3rd, in the morning, met chisako and yuka to head for ryuogashido...hehe its a limestone cave with a 30m waterfall inside...haha and when we were there, I guess, the stones are more fasinating than the fountain...hehe it was a long walk i tink 20-25min to the bus stop that will bring us to the cave.and when we arrived at the cave bus stop, we have to climb a slope and another slope...so tiring...hehe the jap girls paid for our tickets secretly...so sweet la...say its present...so anyway, we entered the cave and it was cooling..natural cool, no aircon...and from the stones, water was dripping here and there...super cool!!!! hehe...and the limestones were amazing, and the path in the cave was superb...almost natural...oh well, they had many kinds of limestones and different names...if you wanna know more, ask me for the brochure...hehe...after that, i bought souvenirs for my GMs and daddy...hehe...then, we had ice cream...hehe first you have to purchase an ice cream ticket from the ticket machine...then i choose chestnut(ku ri) flavour...its an autumn flavour...only available in autumn...hehe but must pay 30yen more...so yup...but kinda nice...i guess it was chestnut pieces but its not crunchy...its kinda chewy...yup...then i bought green tea wafer and choco cake home! really fun...then, we decided to leave the place...but as the girls said we had some time, we went down the stairs to a small pool of water...the sign board reads...not too cool you leg too long...5 minutes will be enough...something like that...then when we put in our legs only we know why...its super cold!!!! just one minute inside, your legs are numb!!!! so cool right?! haha but anyway, that water was from the cave...so yup....but its a good experience...hehe...so yup

we went down the slope again, waited at the bus stop and we took the bus to hamamatsu castle...paid tic to enter and we bought for the jap girls as well...hehe so walked arnd...nothing much i thought...got cheated by history...hehe...but inside there, theres a coin machine, and i paid 400yen for a coin...hehe den add 30yen to carve the date and 'deanna loves japan' hehe...but fun!!!!after that, we walked down to hamamatsu station for lunch...and on the way, they had fall(autumn) festival so its like pasar malam shops along the side of the road...very crowded...but we had lunch at an omelette rice shop...hehe mine was bacon, cheese, corn and cream sauce omu rice!!!! yum yum!!!!SS size consist of 2 eggs, S size 3 eggs, the M and L...no. of eggs didnt bother looking...too much...hehe...

to celebrate Halloween, at za za city( a shopping mall), they had a haunted house!!! hehe...paid 600yen to go in lor!!!! but its kinda fun!!!! hehe....so out of 6 people, four decided to go in! hehe...and i chop my place...i wan to be second in line...hehe...theres a torch light...the first person have to hold the torch light, 2nd, 3 rd person & 4th person have to hold on to the connecting string and not let go. the 4th person also have an extra cape...ok so here goes...its something about the haunted school...and this boy, who wears a black cape with a pumkin face mask is called hallo...so he have no friends and we are suppose to be his frens...so we paid 600 yen school fees, and the school rules:
1. no violence
2.no handiphone( cell phone)
3. no video cam
4. no running
5. no stopping
6.no u-turning
7.no letting go of the rope/ string
8. no using of the toilet

if any of this is broken, you are expel from the school!!!! so cool la!!! haha...but anyway, the torch has red light, and maw was first, im second, shu ling third and yuka 4th.haha...and its crazy being the first person...all the scare, she got it first...haha...second one, not too bad...3rd and 4th cant see anitink at all coz its too dark, but they can hear sounds from the back and there was sound by the side of your ears...its really freaky...got one part, when we entered a dark room and suddenly light was flashing, maw and i was jumping and screaming la!!! haha...freaky like shit but was super fun!!!! haha...and suddenly one part, when we turn a corner, this grey fellow came running to us, and maw screamed and sat on my legs...haha...i had to pull her up la!!! haha...and why not to use the toilet, there is a baby in it and bld everywhere!!!! haha use it if you dare!!!!

after that, we went to shop around...i cant rmb what i got...or perharps i nv buy anitink...hehe...dont know cant remember...but arnd evening, we board the bus to chisako house for dinner...on the way, i had to use distraction therapy la!!! stomachache...hehe bad time really bad time....ya...but i succeeded....hehe the jap girls cooked for us!!!! so we had tuna and cucumber salad and curry rice!!! yummy...and megumi brought some plums that you see in choya...and its salty and sour...dont know how they can say its sweet...we only left chisako house at 11pm and walked back home...hehe....was a fun day!!!!!

Day 11 (4/10/09)
sunday...maw requested to wake up at 10am...so by 10.05am i was already knocking her door!!!! haha...i cant slp late here...but ya, we head to downtown where there station is...i had the food at the pasar malam dere for lunch...super full lor...buy too much...hehe...then we went down to za za city to shop...i only bought a watch with blings and pink! for 31.50 SGD!!!! hehe...mum say you want buy then buy lor...but i really love it!!!! hehe....tried to buy shirt, but not very good...plus alot are alr autumn wear...ask me wear in sg, i will get heat stroke...so at 3plus maw had kebab...its one of the few halal stalls in japan!!!!! then...we had ice cream from baskin robins...we both had king size mint-night .....i cant rmb the name but is halloween flav!!!!! yippee....then watch this band called sharp perform...the next band coming up will be blunt! haha...but one of the guitarist is really cute!!!! walked arnd some more....then decided to go may one to buy stuff...bought mashmallow, groceries( decided to cook rice myself) then lunch box and pens...hehe,...oh the way from zaza to may one we got lost la...lucky maw somehow know the way...coz its like getting dark and i dun like walking in the dark in foreign places though its only 6pm. so yup, but we finally reach may one. may1 food place is called mayb 1...maw say franchise shall be called how about 2...lol....but ya...went home to cook...and i decided to do onigiri for tomorrows lunch...and its not easy!!!! the rice is super hot and they jus wont stick!!!! ARGH!!!!!

Day 12( 5/10/09)
Monday blues! haha...16 more days to Osaka...hehe...but ya...today followed chida san...she can speak eng so not that bad...same thing, dd diaper change...but everyone have their own style so just have to get use to her style first. then see how she admit patient...ya...erm then finally i did blood pressure, temperature and spo2 taking...yup...and we bathe patient...super cool lor...after bathing the patient, let the patient soaked in bath tub then dry her...then for bed bound pt, let them lie on this stretcher, then insert them into this capsule thing, like sun tanning just that your head in our...so wash their hair and face then, pull the stretcher out and bathe their body...then insert back into the capsule...then dry them...really...amazing...and to bathe patients, we have to put on rubber boots and rubber apron...so cool la...lol...but after bathing patients, we have to clean the stretcher every single part...the capsule thing also...its hard work!!!! then after that, i did oral care again...hehe....

oh ya and yesterday...another fellow proved that face behind mask looks better than without mask...haha...

going home to cook dinner and prepare my bento for tomorrow!!!!

First day of proper attachment

2009-10-02T00:24:00.000-07:00

Day 9 (2/10/09)
ok, so today had the first proper attachment...follow preceptor...and very good, my first preceptor, english is her weak point...so ya, i gt help from other people who could speak abit english. the rest of the time, we use actions lor...den some basic jap...haha...but the electronic dict quite ok only leh...haiz....

so today did diaper change, andthe way they do it here is so different. They will use cotton wool, put a little bit of medicated soap and water, rub them together get a bit of bubble then use the wool to clean patients pvt region. then a special bottle (one that looks like our typical sauce dispenser but with many openings and the bottle is long) so they will rinse the patient pvt region with the water. then dap dry with a yellow small towel. yellow towel are for pvt region only.then white towel is for body. So clean right, in sg, one towel for everything. after diaper change, must clear trolley la...haha but they have so many things to clear and you have to sort the type of rubbish and all...lol

followed by that, I observed the procedure for insertion of CVP (a catheter inserted into your neck vessel) it was good. the doctor was really skillful. He could insert it really fast of course with the help of an ultrasound also la...but his hands were firm!!!! really, never shiver at all la!!!!

after that, we serve diet. their diet trolley like ours have 2 cupboards where the food are stored. but in each individual cupboard, it is further divided into 2, one side hot, one side cold. so cool la, then the trays just slot in to gaps.and their trolley, once you touch the sensor, you can drag it. you dont touch the sensor, you dun get to pull the trolley. We fed one patient who have swallowing problem. So instructions given was that his head of the bed have to be 30 degrees. my preceptor really had to get a ruler to measure...and so we fed him a huge amt of thicken ensure...it stinks really!!!! I hate the smell of ensure...lucky in Japan they only have vanilla flavour...im sure i ll puke if the flav that I was feeding is strawberry flav. so because he have problem swallowing, we have to use a spoon like teaspoon but with a longer handle to feed him. and we have to make sure he swallows before we can feed him again...if not mouth overload...so we took a long long time to finally feed more than half...den at 1pm another staff took over to feed...coz we have to go for lunch break.

oh ya, before feeding patient, i observed renal biopsy (taking some tissue specimen from the kidney) in a small treatment room, inside there, there was a ultrasound machine, a microscope, a long table, a small bed, and instrument trolley. with that, there are 4 doctors and 1 technician or is it 5 doctors. dont know, all of them have coat. then one staff nurse to assist, my preceptor and me...hehe...so ya, one doctor hold the ultrasound thing, the other insert the needle to kiap the tissue...when the tissue is out, it was passed to the technician. then they did for four time la...wow...

oh also, today did oral toilet also. meaning to help patients who can't brush their teeth. both countries use the same pink sponge on holder thing...and we both have a cup of water for cleaning the sponge...but whats special in japan is that, they have another cup of warm water where they put in toothpaste powder, and is green tea flav. so u have to soak the sponge and squeeze the water out and clean patients mouth. then later, wash off with the plain water. ya...oh and their gloves are powder free...they only got M and S size la...M can wear but my hands have too much meat...hehe...but was not strechy at all...haha...

haha ya lunch, i ordered bento with the nurses hehe...so yup its veggie and half an egg bento with spag and rice...alrite la...but the box is kinda nice...but you have to return to vender...haha...so aft lunch was 2pm and dr and nurses are suppose to discuss the patient's condition and how to treat them...kinda boring for me cause i cant really understand certain things.or rather everything.hehe...

then 2.30pm i had to choose within bone marrow aspiration and DM class...so I choose DM class coz its delivered by nurses and on every friday only. next friday i wont be here liao...so i opt for that lor...but my partner thinks i shld have went for bone marrow aspiration. bone marrow i nv really see before though but CSF fluid removal should look abit like bone marrow also hor...duno...but whats done is done....no regrets and im having backache la....argh!!!!!

haha and it proves some thing, people with masks on look better than with mask off...haha...3 cases prove it right!!!!! hehe.....ya wkends agn!!!! yay!!!! going to have fun!!!!! weeeeeeeeeeeeee...............................hehe :D

First day at hospital!!!!

2009-10-01T00:07:00.000-07:00

haha...Day 8( 1/10/09)
28 days left!!!! wee wee...im counting down, but im enjoying the daylight time im hving here in Japan...hehe...ok so last night, have no choice but to put on retainers on the not properly healed wound...haha but its so painful until i cant even sleep...wad to do? pop panadol lor...about a while later, i fall asleep liao...im only left with 4 doses...if that stupid wound still dun heal, i will ran out of panadol!!!!

so called home yesterday and it seems like theres earthquake everywhere and even Japan is preparing for tsunami...hmm...duno wad time is the news here and anyway, cant even understand what the people are talking...even my jap teacher talk about typhoon and earthquake like nothing big...haha guess they are used to it...but i had the jitters inside...hehe

so today first day was orientation at seirei mikatahara hospital...so we only had to be at the hospital at 11am till 3pm...cool la!!! haha...so first we met with the deputy director of the nursing dept or is it hospital...but anw, she told us the history and their system. and shes really friendly...as we dun really know how the hospice in singapore looks like and we never have a doctor helicoptor, the DD asked if we wld like to go and see....OF COURSE la!!!! come until here of course must try everything la!!! haha...so we went arnd to their hospice, which is really good, because they let each patient have their own pvt room and even a tatami floor where their family can stay overnight. the good thing is that every room is full of jap style and is very homely cause they try not to make it look like a hospital...

then we went up to the platform where doctor heli lives!!!!!
Its surprising how the helicopter can fit in a stretcher!!!! haha and max is 6 ppl...so cool...we took pictures also...and the person in charge of the heli even allowed us to sit on it...hehe so cool!!!! It is fun!!! For lunch, we went back SCU campus for cheap lunch.

After lunch, we went to our individual ward for orientation. Maw is A4, mine is C4. this hospital ward is kinda same as SGH. A4 will be at blk A lvl 4, C4 will be blk C lvl 4...so yup...hehe the ward manager brief me on the ward, then i asked for the routine and all...then i met 2 of my preceptors...goodness la! i got 3 preceptors lor!!!! dun even noe if i got enough thank you gift for them or not...but the one that take me for 2 days is really good and she can speak english. the ward sister also very nice, she try to let me observe as many procedures as possible...there a DM class for me to attend and observe kidney biopsy...ya so its kinda good...overall, the staff are friendly...so tomorrow, the sister is gg to intro me to the whole ward during the morning conference...

so yup, thats all for today...hehe...later 6plus gg to cycle...hope it wont rain...tomorrow will start at 8.30 to 3pm, its not too bad coz in Sg we are already starting at 7 so yup...hehe...and their shifts are weird...morning shift is 8.30- 1700 den half night shift is 1630- 0100 and night shift is 0030- 0900...the half night is terrible la...really!!!!haha...so yup...hope tomorrow will be a good day den its time to wash clothes again...and saturday we are going to cave with the jap Ot girls!!!! yay!!!!

All is well!!!!

2009-09-30T00:35:00.000-07:00

Day 7 (30/9/09)
29 days left! haha actually, its less than that when we see the paper...haha like 22 more days left in Hamamatsu...aft that it will be hols...

hehe...so today...erm woke up at 6.20am to bathe and all...den get ready to go to Iwata city (in shizuoka but out of hamamatsu). Going there for some clinic stuff, when i reached there den i realised...its a clinic for mothers and kids. so in the morning, we saw dental therapists putting flouride on the kids teeth to prevent cavity. and how a cheerful suddenly became so glum. guess the flouride didnt taste tt good...hehe...then we join in the story telling session by professional librarian (how u spell it?) ya...so it started wif a childhood song i guess, den a few story books recommanded for 2yrs plus kids...den another song den story telling...kinda fun though...and the kids are so cute!!!!!! really....running arnd going crazy...chubby kids...hehe...when everything was done, the director say we could try the fragrance museum...

so off we went, and our teacher paid the fees for us...so sweet la, she say its not too much...so i bought somethink agn...hehe...den walk arnd the museum...too bad i cant snap pics...so i didnt even get to snap the main enterance which i tot is kinda posh...iron gates in green wif fancy designs. at the centre a mini water ornament. and the walls are made of cement or ceramics structures popping out from the wall...so i only gt to snap the signboard next to the carpark...haha...but it was not too bad, they had a room that was full of good looking cakes, sweets and chocolates but they were made of salt...haha...then the next room was the history of soap in japan...the kao brand is actually a soap brand...tot the first batch of soap smells like powder...hehe...den we had a game of guessing food stuff...great! i nv get one rite...haha...then there were 5 cubicles, in the screen, you will see a balloon, stretch your hand to the balloon and it will burst, then a smell will be released...haha i had melon, acient egypt...haha maw had some funny smell, ice cream and some musty smell...haha...

went back to first floor, there was this room to make ur own perfume, but if u want to, you have to pay. we didnt do it, but we did some survey tink. so for ladies, there were 8 choices to choose from. i choose some flora which is light. then with the help of our teacher, we ans the questionair on cpu den it analyse and print out for us...haha...so it says because of my dressing and maturity, i tend to look older...hehe...and i am outgoing and socialable...haha...the rest are in jap cant really read...haha...

with that, we left for lunch at a shopping mall nearby...until up close then i realise is yao han...gosh its been long since i ever stepped into yao han!!! so thinking there will be foodstalls, but in there were mostly finger food kind but they had mac...so i got some chicken set...guess is chicken patty marinated in some sauce den fried...but the burger is chewy...hehe...then had mister donut for dessert...its superb...the dough part is really soft, erm like eating a really well made and soft eclair...den mine was kinda like a ring donut with strawberry cream in the donut and certain portion covered with strawberry chocolate...its really nice, good and yummy...bought another strawberry donut for tomorrows breakfast.

at 12.30pm we set off for a kind of convention hall whereby abt 186 kids will get their immunisation for polio...actually its jus drinking 0.05mls of sweet med...hehe...so we saw how the parents waited patiently and queued to take the temp for the kids. den registration, and waited patiently for 15min for the doctors. when the doctors came, the nurses organised everything really well!!! really!!! the nurses did a very good job!!! so the dr listen to the front and the back of the lungs and check their throat...at this point, the kids alr started crying...hehe...den followed by another dr at another stat giving the polio...den at an area, they will rest for 30mins, if their child is alright, they can go off...apart from us, there were 2 other jap nursing studs...wif mask on the guy looks quite alright and kinda cute...wif mask off, CMI man!!!! haha...anw...the kids are so so so cute!!!! the dr are the last to arrive and first to leave...some big shot man!!! so end of everything, we have to pack up and clean the floor...like wow! so yup...then halfway thru clearing up, a lady came running with her child...she was late, but the doctor has left...so she has to come back another day...so sad but the dr are alr gone, nothing they can do abt it...

so end of the day, teacher send us back to sch...and she volunteered to send us to onsen next sat aft 4pm...yay!!! so good but we have to come back ourself though...haha...but better than nothing...so here am i typing in this blog...hehe....and im done...going to go hosp tmr liao...and gg to start typing my reflective journal...dinner havent decided...so yup...take care peeps!!!!

slept alright

2009-09-29T01:01:00.000-07:00

Day 6(29/9/09)
30 more days to go...hehe i ll still count down la, its kinda fun...hehe...so today, early in the morning we set off for seirei home visiting station. the plan as told by the director was to go thru abit abt their system, followed by us splitting up and follow 2 different nurses for the first visit, followed by lunch den the second visit. i cant really touch alot on the patient's data due to confidentiality...but i thought, homenursing is indeed a new experience, and singapore should let stud nurses attend a few sessions as well. home visiting nurses have to handle all kinds of medical condition, on top of that, they have to work alone, so the have to turn the patient alone, etc. they really really require good body mechanics...

and its kinda cool...the patients are ill and perharps unable to walk...and there are special gadgets where their family have to purchase to help them to move in and out of hse easier. a minature lift to bring pt up to rm etc. apart from that all, we get to see the homes that the patients live in...i was lucky, both my patients have traditional homes...so tatami floor was included...and a step before you enter the house is also present. actually these houses are some what like our old shop houses, they are kinda deep in but not as deep as ours. and their corridors are really really narrowed. rooms wise is quite alright.

home visit nurses really must know how to drive....the roads in jp is super narrow, so it means giving way to the other car in a road that is a little bigger than the size of our one way road (i guess). there are also difference in the way of nursing care...haha...thats　Of course...hehe i guess i accidently pressed on somethink, And it became jap words so now the font is out of place. So ya, went to grocery shop to get some it became jap words so now the font is out of place. So ya, went to grocery shop to get some stuff.. became jap words so now the font is out of place. So ya, went to grocery shop to get some stuff...Cool jap　words　so　now　the　font　is　out　of　place.　So　ya,　went　to　grocery　shop　to　get　some　stuff...Cool　thing about this place is that they sell sushi in rolls...and each roll is only 98 yen...no like those about　this　place　is　that　they　sell　sushi　in　rolls...and　each　roll　is　only　98　yen...no　like　those　small pieces we get in supermarket...so going to go home and cook my instant maggie and instand soup! pieces we get in supermarket...so going to go home and cook my instant maggie and instand soup!!! we get in supermarket...so going to go home and cook my instant maggie and instand soup!!! Till then!：）

good slp last nite

2009-09-27T23:15:00.000-07:00

26/9 con't
haha...so wen we reached the beach, we found out tt if its high tide, it can be quite high, and there actually a sign they i tink say sumtink about earthquake and tsunami...haha...ya, so the hot sand were white, those in contact with water turns black...kinda lyk white sesame and black sesame...hehe so we went to play with the water...rather waddle, the water is cold...so ironic, the water is cold the sand is hot, anyway, when the sun shine on us, i tink it's because of the wind, i dun feel any heat at all...so fun...when the wave draws back, it brings the sand along, causing us to sink further into the sand...and when u pull ur leg up, haha u get black sesame feet. it's like no way to wash your leg cause after u wash one leg, you sink further in with the other leg, place your clean leg down, the sand is soft and u sink in...hehe...so giving up, we went off the beach, meaning we have to travel into the hot sand area again...amazingly, the white sesame will remove the black sesame...hehe...

went to toilet to wash up and outside has a cool watercooler and actually an area for you to wash your hands and your legs...we head off for the festival pavillion whereby they have alot of kites on display. On the early May in Hamamatsu, the people here celebrate some kite festival whereby they will have kite com and all...so the creation of the festival pavillion...hehe...we entered without paying anything and when i went home to check, the tic is 400yen...hehe...but its kinda alrite in there...i thought it was quite alright...outside there, theres a stall that sells takoyaki and a stall that sells crepe...takoyaki sell in 8 balls for 400 yen...its kinda big...but i dun really like coz its tako flavour...hehe they crepe i had banana chocolate with wipped cream!!!! goodness! its so heavenly!!!! the crepe is chewy, its not crispy...and its so yummy, they present to u in a cone shape, so u have to keep tearing off the paper to eat more, kinda like eating ice cream cone...yum yum....

after that it was still early like arnd 1pm, we went to walk arnd the park, see ppl fly kite and we got kinda bored and decided to set off back to hamamatsu city stat...went to get some food (tori karage and calamari rings that was sotong with a little breaded flour outside) to add for dinner, and it was still early only 2 plus 3...so we decided to sit at tully's coffee for some coffee...den chat until 4plus, went home to cook dinner...hehe and our wonderful dinner consist of 2 pkt asam laksa maggie mee, a can of chilli tuna, tori karage and calamari...hehe and my pokari sweat...

Day 4(27/9/09)
32 more days to home...eagerly waiting for the time to go home or at least to osaka...i duno why, but i have been having slpless nights and it sux totally...slept at 12 and you wake up at 3am, go back to bed den wake up at 5am again, go back to bed and wake up at 5.30 am, then went back to bed wake up at 6am, den 6.30 den 6.59 and i gif up...its crazy la...probably bcuz my retainer cut my gums real deep...haiz...anw, today met up with OT jap and sg girls to go shopping...went to AEON(pronounce as e-on) the logo looks somewhat like our ION...hehe...anw the shopping centre is huge!!!! really though its only 2 stories...i bought most of the souvenirs alr... i bought mummy a gift, myself a hat and simple souvenirs for my friends. dun expect too much huh!!! *hint hint* im a poor student...hehe and i mean it!!!!! had char siew ramen in syo suace soup...its nice but salty, and abit not worth the price, only 2 pieces of charsiew so thin some more...think, ajisen is better...3pm we wen to science centre to watch stars...haha man- made stars of course...you sit in and look up, the starting scene was nice, the sun set and soon the sky turns dark, den mr moon comes out with the tiny bright friends...den the voice started toking in jap, and slowly really really slowly, the stars turn into shapes and the planterium is really dark, and after seeing a few pics, i dozed off...hehe...the voice was still going thru my head but i was alr dreaming...i paid 900yen to slp!!! haha...den i woke up, see a few pics, doze off, wake up, doze off and watch the rest of it...haha i was the only that slept...the whole gp of us, each take turns to slp...lol...its kinda boring...oh ya, and here, its funny, like those places that you expect to have aircon, they have aircon but u can feel nothing, in tt planetrium, its so warm and stuffy, buses too, abit of aircon and at every traffic light, if the bus have to stop, they will switch off their engine, and japs usually dun speak in public transport so its super quiet, the driver will play music...and now in the lib, i cant feel any aircon la!!! save energy until like that...lol...aft the star show, we walk arnd the science centre to see and play the exhibit...hehe and there was actually a mini sci show...lol...

and one of my jap fren, sayaka told me that k-on is currently the most popular animae in jp...haha so u can try...but the time we reached our house the bus stop, its was alr dark, but the time is 6 plus only...so we went to a nearby cafe for dinner, i had cabonara...its nice and creamy, but its very different from those in sg...when the plate was first brought to me, there was this reddish a little translucent stuff on top of everything, i looked at it, it looked like sashimi la...but when i ate it, its salty and cooked...guess its some smoked meat...prob bacon or wad...

so went home shower and crash maw house...i guess i fell aslp on her bed...planned to leave her room at 12mn so i can slp for jus 8 hrs and nth ma...hehe i dread slping now...but ya, 11 plus i guess i fell aslp on her bed while she was watching F1...haha den suddenly 12mn close to 1am, i woke up with a start in a dark room, haha she was alr slping next to me, so i told her that i gonna return to my own rm...and finally!!! i slept from 1 plus to the next morning 7.25!!!! finally, finally...too tired i guess...

day 5(28/9/09)
31 more days to go home...todays alrite, we still cant figure out about the throwing of the rubbish...seems like theres a certain time to throw rubbish, once the time is over, the chute will be locked...like wth la!!!! no purpose oso ma...ya so, had coffee and banana for breakfast, after im done, i ll always go to maws house, so i decided to throw the banana skin into some nearby bin (which always seems to be special bin) but when i went out, wow!!! today got so many cars...so difficult to throw the skin...hehe (k, the bin is near the road, so traffic light turns red, cars stop, and u are not sure if tts the correct bin to throw in) so went sch for orientation and campus tour. had lunch at the sch cafe, kinda cheap and its unique...u have to see the display for todays menu and also you can see the food items in the cabinet. den go to a vending machine to purchase your food ticket then collect your lunch.price wise considered cheap and not too bad to eat too...tea and water are all free flow...haha and i met yukimi...hehe passed her the cd alr...and she seems more cheerful...hehe...had lecture aft lunch and now i finish class...hehe tomorrow is community nursing...dinner tonite...duno...prob sometink cheap...
hope you guys are hving fun too!!!!

Dee misses home

2009-09-27T20:51:00.001-07:00

hehe...i duno how long i can type...but i try my best...if cant finish, i ll update agn aft sch...

25/9 part 2
so yup, went uniqlo but they are alr selling autum clothes so nth much to get, den wen 100yen shop, bought some stuff and to the supermarket called max valu for eggs and bananas...haha...its delmonte but not sweet at all...anw, the layout of the malls are just like tampines ikea, courts and giant jus tt this time the carpark is at the centre whereas the shops are at the edge. unagi pie dere are cheaper...so so much cheaper...hehe yup, for dinner, the OT girls met with their jap Ot friends and we all went for dinner together...and guess where they brought us to, the okonomiyaki stall agn...lol...but its nice, treated us for dinner...hehe i had yakiudon, nice but i tink their okonomiyaki is better...hehe...so yup...

Day 3(26/9/09)
its saturday, so its day off, and so it means outing!!! hehe...so we set off for nakatajima dunes...its like and area where there is sand, oh well thats the concept i got from the fotos. so we went off from the bus stop and when the bus arrives, the two of us approach the front door while the rest of dem approach the back door of the bus...haha den only i realise that japan buses or at least at hamamatsu, u enter from the back door and alight from the front door. so upon boarding a bus, u either tap ur card (something like ez link) or u get a tick from the dispenser. den when u reached your destination, u jus drop it into a machine, it will tell the price den u pay the exact with coins into the same machine. if u run out of coins, no fear, jus change ur money at the coin dispenser in the bus!!! convinent eh!!! lol...

so according to the paper that out teacher gave us, we suppose to board bus no. 4, so we went to lane for, but we check the list agn and agn but the words doesnt match, so i decided to ask someone, and she spoke to me in jap, where i dun udnerstand at all, but she pointed in a direction, so moving with tt direction, we arrived at the information counter...hehe...den we realise, its bus no 4 tt goes to the dunes but its at lane 6 not lane 4...so to get on the right bus, u must be at the right lane and right bus no. hehe...so off we went, and we arrived at the dune! wind is cool...and we approached the dune. before that, i was warned by a jap about the sand as i was in track shoes, so i changed into my slippers. and off we go...goodness, the sand is so soft...u step into it, you can sink in it...hehe...ok, when we arrived i guess it was 10am plus, the sand is hot!!! so when you walk, your feets are getting sand bath, covered with sand and hot sand!!!! its difficult to walk in the sand too, and its a long long way before we finally reached the beach!!! ok will describe more about it later...got to run for lecture!!!!

Day 1 in Hamamatsu

2009-09-24T21:07:00.000-07:00

ok, on gaya's request. haha I wonder how long i can keep this blog alive again...

lets see, blogging on trip to japan as i never bring my diary along, thinking that i will not write in it! but too bad...

hehe day 1 (223/9-24/9)
Upon arrival at tokyo at 6.30am (sg time-5.30am), we went to purchase our narita express and shinkansen tics, den head off for hamamatsu! Seriously, it's not one of the best way to travel to Hamamatsu. Reason being, it's kinda long, but afterall, it's cross states. The main trouble is lugging a huge and large suitcase is terribly terribly difficult! My hand is aching today!!! haha...

so yup, at tokyo, when we change from narita express to shinkansen, goodness! Its not like lrt changing to mrt. It's like walking frm my house to compass. It's not far, I noe, but it's heavy with a luggage!!! from outside, the shinkansen leg space looks great! but that's without our luggage...when our luggage sits in, there's practically no space for our legs!!!! so bear that for 1.5hrs and we arrived Hamamatsu. Had lunch...chicken egg rice and udon soup...not too bad...and super filling! like how much starch did i actually consumed???!!!!!!!

at 2pm, chika san picked us up and sent us to our place. each of us got a kinda like studio apartment for ourselves.so in there, i have a toilet, a basin and beside it is a stove den on the other side of the basin is the fridge and microwave, followed by the washing machine. opposite everything, theres my elevated toilet, its elevated. i duno why, probably the water and sewage system are all below it. in the toilet, i have my toilet bowl, my basin and a small bathtube. its small and crampy...so the min i turn left, i hit the shower curtains, i turn right, i hit the wall...hehe

then further up, i have my bedroom cum living room. so my bed actually have a headboard, it's different from mine thou, but with the headboard comes a small cupboard...really very very small, mayb jus a lil bigger then those american style lockers. alrite den at the center of the place i have a small tatami sq table where i put stuff that i cant fit into my cupboard or toilet...hehe...and diagonally across, a small tv and a small cupboard below it. also, outside dere's a balcony which i dun really fancy thou...hehe...it's nothing much but it's cheap...so still alrite...bed is comfortable and the blanket is super warm!!!!!

ok so from dere, after we place our luggage, chika san took us to SCU for a small orientation. den also the food stalls arnd our area. den we went back to unpack and soon later, i meet up wif mawarni to go for dinner. we decided on okonomiyaki and haha when we went in, wwe requested for those tatami floor kind...and we got it!!! hehe...inside there kinda look cosy. open the menu and haha all u see is hiragana, katakana and kanji and numbers! ask the stall owner for eng menu and she kindly explain to us what is inside the okonomiyaki and i guess aft 5-10min, we place our orders! how sweet rite!!!!! try that in singapore, i wonder what you will get. haha...so oh well, it looked regular, but its super duper filling!!! the best tink is, its yummy and cheap!!!! so i ll definitly go bac agn...hehe...so wen we left the place, its dark alrite!!! DARK!!! like 8 plus 9 like that but in actual fact, its only 6plus...hehe and getting cool! so ya, walked home, bathe and crash mawarni room to plan where to go over the wkends!!! hehe...

day 2(25/9)
morning woke up, and get ready to go to sch for orientation. after awhile, we were allowed to lib to use com...followed by lunch at 11.30. treat by chika san and haruka san. both who are very nice ladies and friendly to approach. and now back to the lib typin this blog...hehe...and soon at 2pm gg to say hi to the director of nursing in SCU!!! den shopping for groceries, 100yen shop and uniqlo!!! hehe...i really miss home i guess, woke up at 1.17am then fall back to slp agn until 7.10am...

stucked in the past

2008-09-13T08:01:00.001-07:00

Why am I still haunted by the pass??? I have to move on...I must move on!!!

It's too late...

2008-09-10T07:01:00.000-07:00

Is it too late? I guess so...it all ended when im so determined to end it...you could have mentioned or dropped a bigger bomb on yourself...at least even if there's nothing, i still have a confirmation...for now, i wish i was still as ignorant as before...at least i dun hv to self-blame and at least, i dun hv to push myself so hard to prove jia was wrong......it's all too late...anw, i thank you for all the wonderful memories.

I wish you all the best and you take care...

Time passes fast...so fast that we have all graduated for 2 yrs already. During these 2 yrs ppl changed...so much that sometimes we cant even recognise them...is this the person i used to noe? i duno and it will only be when we meet up again. I wanna go back to the environment that i can be the carefree dee.........

But, life still goes on......

Moodswings or what?

2008-07-03T07:57:00.000-07:00

Is it me and my confidence or what? i really duno...feel lyk a burden to her is what is in my mind...dere are ppl much much better...despite its alr the last 8, we still cant work out wif each other...now its not jus WSC...

class presentations...i nv admit or once think that we are the best...nw it still remains the same...mayb i kinda dun lyk tt kind of comparisons ba...no idea...

haiz...depressed...i tried it doesnt cut with finger nails...or mayb its jus moodswings?

Pls dont ask me why i nv tell you...i believe u noe y more than anyone else...thx

shag

2008-06-04T07:54:00.000-07:00

ok ok so what have i declared? the blog is ROTTEN!!!!

hmm...it will be a long post....ok first of all, acknowledgments...Thank you ppl for the wonderful bdae gifts!!!

TO:
Mummy and Daddy for the wonderful pen...
2 Ds thx for the RCT 3 tt my com cant play...hehe
Maternal gram for the red packet...

Jia min, Yvonne, Wan Hin, Rozi neighbour, Kumar, Weiling and Htoo for the cute cuddle teddy!!!
Ira and Joey for the lady-like pouch...haha
Ni Ni, Zi Wei, Choy Ling, Wai Yeng, Thiri for the 2 bottles of perfume...hehe
Jia Yan and Jia Hui for the diary and pencil case...ok i shall admit im a strawberry shortcake lover....
Jia's father for the red packet...

Thank you for all the wonderful gifts...i love them loads...

kk...switch mood...since sch starts, its been hard for me to get use to everything...dun ask me why but i just feel weird...mayb bcuz of the previous attachment ba...den str8 aft tt was sch, i felt really really tired.haven been able to get use to yr 2 until wk 4 or 5 or even until nw...wad a sch term...life been hectic...wen u got use to one, another crops up...

everything jus seems so different now...everything is squashed up, attachments are in sch term n jus b4 exams den hols also attachment...haiz den lab test retest all so early...things have changed...jus when you were in ur midst of thinking if you will be selected or not, your heart is no longer dere...mayb wen my name appeared on the screen i was happy for tt moment ba...soon aft tt im really asking myself am i doing for the country, or jus doing for the sake of doing?haiz...one heavy heavy burden! nw better still all more squashed up...haiz...i noe tk it easy tk it easy...but its not so easy...coz everything is so different...

why is it in a gp of 3, sumhw im the one not partnered up...i noe its not easy dere ll always b a pair tts closer...i noe i hv tried it b4 but agn why is it always happening to me?! i rather be lyk my fellow ex com mates...free and easy...our life is not bout this com...but i only can change my concept...its too late to do anything...hopes everything ll go well...

changed changed changed...tired of all the changes...mayb its all the different changes tt adds up ba...im burnt out...all have changed...no more toking in lec halls...no more jking...no more no more no more!!!!project gp is weird...small gp ok la...ppl ok la jus tt kumar is always bickering wif me...apart frm tt its jus so diff...i hv no motivation to do projects no motivation to study...seriously, i really duno wad im doing all this for...i ll sign bond but deres a time tt i hv sec tots bout becoming a nurse...what have become of me...dun ask me i hv no idea...

all i noe is tt i hv changed and im super good at escaping but pls pls pls dun bring back the topic all my light hearted heart will jus sink to the end of the sea.its lyk i duno...its weird...im escaping but im not surviving.haiz...exams over but so far so good...i thank god for the help...

damn my damn heart my damn brain...im hating myself more and more.seriously...im stupid and dumb and ass...why cant i jus live my own life...haiz...
aunty's visiting ba...but at least daddy noes wad im gg thru...

I'm fustrated...

2007-12-12T05:38:00.000-08:00

Though the stupid setback seems so small...and yt y have i determined to work hard...i put in my best, practice as often as i could...and yt, my confidence is still all the way at the bottom of the valley? mention of written test, oral test...i can still do it...and yt, tok bout prac everythings goes down agn...WHY? WHY? WHY? why is it so hard for me to climb up once agn...i really duno wad i shld do...be myself...hw do i go bout doing it?

u tell me " this is not the cheerful and lively deanna tt i noe." but yt, all i could ans u was "im tired". i really really tried my best to hide my feelings...so tt those arnd me wont gt affected...but everything is jus building up......i cant gt them out....i really feel lyk giving up

u ask me hw was training today...i cant ans u on fone but i can tell u now, i seriously nv enjoyed it today...because...i duno if i shld gif up...but if i gif up nw, i wont even noe who am i le...i can pass this time, but the next time? den wad bout WSC? shld i still go on when everyone arnd is the crim of the maze? i am losing myself day by day le......when will i breakdwn i nv noe........

I HATE JERKS!!!!

2007-11-02T07:37:00.001-07:00

seriously, why is the freaking world so freaking realistic...i really duno hw i shld carry on wif the life in the world...even the most realistic human jia said...nw jus seems to 'poof!' n gone!!! im left alone.........step out, or shld i jus hate it...jerks!!! totally sux......really...F. the whole damn situation...i just wish u freaking idiot can be more straight forward...i heck if we were friends...i heck for everything we share...jus tell me n be done with it......but anw...no more chance to do tt le...for everything has jus 'poof!' in my heart......my life ll go on.....all by myself......

The end

2007-10-20T09:02:00.000-07:00

dee is sick......
dee is tired......
should i say i have had enough?!

wadever...as of october 2007...everything shall end.......i thank you for the memories......but lets stop everything.........

time pass fast!!!

2007-10-04T09:13:00.001-07:00

at the start of the 3 wks, we were thinking, when will our attachment actually ends, n now, its jus a few more hrs b4 i report for my last day duty!!! cut short into stuff......things have gone up n down...up all the way tt most of ur pt are really sweet! down all the way till u get scolded for nth n worst in a stupid language tt u dun understand...n most of the last 2 wks, really totally high!!! keke......but overall, i love nursing! n haha...i have bcum sum1 from nausea at the sight of shit to a diaper changing pro!!!keke......

tips to all: pls wear a pair of gloves everytime u are changing diaper( getting powdery hands is better than feaces covered hands! XD)

anyway...life has been great so far...nv noe one day i ll appreciate my mum's cooking!!!! n time is passing super duper fast...so fast that things have been changing...i duno, i gt that feeling but yt...i kept pushing that feeling away......but im all too tired to push back n stop thinkin!!!

codes: UD, CH, CHAP, KD, MAO MAO.........

happy belated birthday duke!!!

2007-09-01T09:52:00.000-07:00

haha...25 hrs ago,was when duke turned 12...now,it will be 12 n a day old!!!haha ok dd i get the pharsing right? no idea...my english's getting worst...bleah...

anyway so what have we done yesterday...haha ok...woke up at 11 plus...den had brunch...i could hv skipped it but the donuts were in the fridge for say close to 3 days...haha got to finish them...so heat it up...box says heat up for 8s...on the sec day dey were in my hse, it requires 10 plus seconds...n haha on the third day, 20s...oh well but they are still lovely...hehe!!!

head for Jack's, menu for set lunch is steak n grilled fish...there aint any choice for us!!! haha...so ordered 3 sets of grilled fish n 1 set of grilled chicken(kids menu)...den we decided to order a jar of lemon tea...n woah!!! i totally forgt tea/coffee will be served aft meals...n haha i had alot of water in my stomach...oysters were great!!! big n fresh and haha lucky me!!!i got a twins in a shell!!!hehe...and daron had to say my mouth got hole, mayb the oyster jus slipped out n haha i tot there were 2...but hello!!! ren...it aint lor...im a clean eater...bleah...

den wen acarde to go crazy...we can really go aggressive wen we r playing air hockey...hmm tink 3-4 times where the disc flew out real hard...thank god no one was hurt...grab sum pamplets for hk as well as korea...haha...aft reading gandie n ganma blog...i really feel lyk gg back to genting!!!haha...but it wont be fun wif me alone n my mum...haha...anw so bought duke's cake, rented 3 dvds n off for home...

i have to say...men in white is so rubbish...a waste of money, a waste of time...not nice at all!!! argh...but 200 pound beauty is great!!!haha...den aft tt, went out for dinner...n wonder what the hell was wrong wif me...why am i having moodswing?!!! i shld be happy for many reasons...well mayb im tired...no idea...anw, dinner was ok...or great i hv no idea...but was at puggol end...haha driving in reminds me of ubin...aww...i miss ubin...

tmr got to go amk stat to collect duke's belated present...hope he will lyk it...lol...

and if anyone is thinking of any movie...hairspray is great!!! 881 is also great and so is
ratatouille and secret!!!oh rush hr 3 is nice also...

lastly...i would like to thank ikea for sending their mag...coz haha...i can 参考参考 more dressing tables...hehe....

我已爱上了你！

2007-08-30T05:41:00.000-07:00

因为你的离去，使得我浑身不自在！就像少了身体的一部分。。。可惜的是，就是少了我那颗心。人没心，怎能活下去呢？所以，我一整天都魂不受色。。。我都快疯了！

没有你的存在，我什么都不是！一整天就是空荡荡的。。。我不能见到你，听不到你。。。我只能回想我们曾经有过的时光，只能紧紧的拥抱它。。。我不知我怎能渡过接下来的那几天。

心不见，脑海里就只有你。。。我为了你，已经把很多脑细胞杀死了！而我只想说一声‘我想你’。

I'm missing you......

2007-08-30T03:39:00.000-07:00

是你让我感觉到爱一个人是什么滋味的
但也是你让我发觉默默爱一个人是很辛苦的
(Fong, 2007)

i can't help but just copied from Fong tt 2 sentences, 2 very chim sentences which i tink is so super duper true......best thing is, it is nice!!!lol......

hmm...so hols is here...and hv been gg out alot these days...n jia is gg crazy because of me!!! haha...i can't believe i missed the chance...lol...anw since its over so wad for me go think bout it...

haha...thinking of roy having his secret blog...i hv my secret 'blog' oso...lol...sumtink which is so personal......except mine is not to be shared to everyone...haha...anyway... a chorus of a song that i love alot...

我要离去别在哭泣
不要伤心请你相信我
要等待我的爱
陪你永不离开
因为会有那么一天
我们牵着手在草原
听鸟儿歌唱的声音
听我说生我爱你

nice song nice song...lol...came up wif a stupid inspiration story...lol...so stupid...a story tt aint fluent at all...haha

thank you

2007-08-18T23:44:00.000-07:00

ain't it warm to have someone offering you his coloured pens when you are making your notes for exams...and to have someone that everyday smsing you asking how is your revision going on......everything done, you may oversee it...but when all is collated together,the feeling is jus wow! big enough to feel it...even if its that small, somehow at times it ll not be overlooked......for that i thank daron and serene...

i appreciate what you ppl have done...really...thank you!!! it really warms my heart when i received the pens and the sms......

to ren: thx alot! but if you realise...why everything you did make me really wanna cry...the weather is cold but my heart is warm and its all because of you...thank you...love you lots......i thank god for having you in my life.........

to rene: thx...though now my study gp is not the old gp that i have, i really miss those times we shared together back in sjc...but i would always welcome you into the new study gp...join us ba...and rene no nd to worry bout me la...u jiayou oso la!!! thx......love

and to all people who are hving exams next wk...gambateh ppl!!!! lets work hard and do it together!!! jiayou!!!!

sad

2007-08-17T10:04:00.000-07:00

its weird...maybe its due to the exam week ba...hmm...somehow...i wonder if we are really what we were at the start of the school...it's just weird...despite not seeing her, her and more her for erm say 3 wks...i can still tok to them...but yet, the closest, i cant seem to even say hi...what is wrong with us?! maybe a dyad would be better than a triad...though a dyad is not that stable but if i have the chance, i ll go for the dyad...seems lyk tts my personality for all my life so far...tt happened in sec 3, i broke off frm the triad......ll it happen i duno...but i ll say, we ll still be frens......im contented to just having a dyad relationship...be it a pair or more...im happy...im also happy being a floating soul...float here and dere...i have no complains...but a triad..................i duno......

so many things have been happening...screwed up my thursday paper...a total killer where i lost all my confidence...anw i finally understand wad U mean by being seperatly innocently...anw, wen U first tok to me bout ur separation, i said its ok, no worries...finally i understand how u feel.....lyk wad roy said...u wont know how it feels until u hv gone through it.........for U,all i have to say is...every parent means well......but then i noe it ll feel unreasonable bout their decision...but still their primary reason is to protect their only daughter and to mean well for her...to tell U the truth...i duno wad to do as well......i know they meant well but its really unreasonable for what daddy had say......i duno...i just duno......sumhw, i jus feel theres no necessary to tok bout it, but then until nw, thinking and thinking, i still cant find the ans.........

im tired...physically and mentally.........my eyes hurt, im sick of everything...esp...............

dull dull dull

2007-08-12T06:31:00.000-07:00

somehow, the phrase that has the same meaning as 'how you think your day would be,your day would be.'ala...can't really remember what's the phrase but it means somthing like that, somehow, the phrase does not really works...i'm sorry yq, it may work for you, but not for me...

it's good to see the boys growing more and more mature these days...see how they grow up to be responsible guys...there's just this feeling of happiness for them......we all share the same memories...maybe more of daron and me compared to duke...but still we love each other...we have all grown up, so there's no way where a playground can hold us and to really retrieve the memories by playing......anyway, i pray to god...that my 2 little brothers( which are not little now) have the motivation to go for their last examination with confidence and to do their best!

apart from that, life has been going down down and all down...im sorry if im a disappointment to all...its just that at this cruical time,i don't hv any strength to be strong or carry on......everyday seems to be dull dull and more dull......i can't concentrate in my studies and all...i jus hope i will manage to get a pass......haiz......though say resign to fate......everyone is resigning to fate......life seems to be totally meaningless le......tk the plunge tk the plunge the voice at the back was saying......but then whatever for?! its not worth it...i have done too many mistakes, and tking the plunge won't be another mistake......its jus so not worth it.........plus wrong things come all at a time.........u may jus suffocate under stress.....................................

finally i understand!!!

2007-08-10T07:09:00.000-07:00

the fable of immunity will always occur to adolescents...n i feel that, for one to have that kind of thinking, its kind of immature...ok wad exactly is fable of immunity...it means that one has that kind of thinking that all misfortune will not happen to him. e.g getting SARS...

well......now i finally understand why mum tries so hard to drill this sentence 'nv get involved in a relationship when you are studying!' into our brains......haiz...hw true is tt...very true...well, u may think it is rubbish, tk it light heartedly...thinking that it ll nv ever happen to you...u may hv thought that, well im coping well wif my relationship n studies now...but i believe no matter hw well one can cope, he ll bound to have a time where he can't cope...n when that time comes, he ll suddenly be enlightened and think hw true that sentence is...

i ll say, its nv too late to learn from that kind of mistakes...but its just that, you have to get over the hurt which will take a long time to heal...and then promise yourself to nv to do that agn......

thinking of which, a life is so fragile...and so short...you may live today, but not tmr......i really don't know for hw long more i am able to put on a strong front......i cant help it anymore!!! but its just that every little non-detailed stuff i see, i recalled,you will appear in my mind...im wondering...do we really have that much of memories of each other?! i can say, we must hv really been gd frens to share those times.........i noe im tinking too much...jia said so, yong quan said so...but then its really true...i guess you have no idea how torturing it is for me to sit through lecture with the lecturer jus kept using the same diagnosis for examples...n tt lovely diagnosis was c_______.........haiz...nth is improving at all...and now, stupid thinking made me think worst......im really gg crazy......but then, i shall stop everything and end it my way.........

I wonder...

2007-08-09T09:32:00.000-07:00

Suddenly...i thought back to the past......back to the 4-5 days after we know each other as friends...that was the very first time you hurt me...and the very first time i cried because of you...and that sure is long long long ago...haiz

and now i suddenly think back...i wonder how much tears have i dropped because of you......hmmm...alot ma? i cant rmb and dun wish to rmb...but i noe...alot of my first time came about because of you...and to the extend that some of the first times, i nv want to repeat it ever agn!!!

haha...yes its alot of first time regarding you...first this, first that...tears dropped tons...heart break tons...joy and laughter tons...disappointment...tons.............................................................................................................

rejoice for joy!!!

2007-08-04T07:56:00.000-07:00

总于雨过天晴了！请你们不要再想了！这一切一切完全是不可能的！我也已经问过了。他说的人绝对不是我，所以就别想那么多了！咳！总于我感到比较轻松了！总于啊！这还得感谢所有帮过我的人！！！就像家敏，希仁，佩珊，Darren, 和 Ira。。。谢谢你们！但是，事情已经有了答案，有了结果，你们就别再帮我想了啦！哈哈！

today is yoyo's bdae!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOLANDA CHUA!!!
蔡嘉贤，生日快乐！！！
Happy birthday sis!!!

was suppose to wake up at 8.30am, apparently, due to all the late nite sleep, i overslept once agn...its dreadful to oversleep when u r gg to meet rene the next morning...haha...pressure!early in the morning, adrenaline rush! haha...so i woke up only at 9.30am...n ok la...lucky she called...so yup...meeting her at 10am n im still in bed at 9.30...half an hr is possible to rush, but i dun always managed to do tt...haha but today, i went in the bathroom n out within 15 min....wooooooooo!!! ya,in the end, i took the bus, picked rene n mabs up, we arrived at min's hse at 10.30am...lyk wth! meeting time suppose to be 11am!!! i could hv jus slept another half hr...lol...so went in n min taught us to fold rabbits...hehe...apparently was yoyo's bdae pressie...of coz special ones gt words on it...den yoyo didnt arrived until 11.30 plus...

oh well, we head for NTUC to buy stuff to whip up a lunch...haha...5 gals shopping for groceries...perfect!jus buying the soda water, we alr tinking of the price...lol...yo was best! cheese oso gt tink of price...lol...den lugged everything bac to min's hm...stopped by video ezy to borrow a dvd...n it was the devil wears prada...

ok...so bac at min hm, we all got bz in the kitchen, cut this, cut tt, boil this, boil that, wash here, wash there...n apparently, communication breakdwn, min started shouting...ya, ok was part of my mistk...anw, situation was saved...phew...pasta done lovely! salad done lovely! grapes done lovely! the only prob we hv was the pasta sauce, which was also solved int he end!!! hehe...yay we rox!lol...carrots soft enuff, thou the chicken was cooked a lil longer, it was still tender, the amount of cheese we added in the sauce was WOW!!! so the sauce was all cheesed up!soda drink was lovely too! so we ate n watch the movie at the same time...hehe...the movie is nice!n the food was great! sumhw, i ate the most amount of honey tomato in the salad...aft all tt, we ate the tidbits...den ltr the cake was served...ok we bought strawberry cheese cake, easier to handle...hehe n nice since we were all cheese lovers!!! eat n cleared...den we had our usual photo session!!! hehe...

had to go off, so we bid our farewell once agn...den the 4 of us head for home...except yo to meet sum1...lol...den on the bus, i saw KT so i tell mabs...but she nv heard it!!! until wen we were chatting den she suddenly turn n asked me if my fren was dere!!! faint...den nvm, aft her turn was my turn...i board the bus,i knocked into sum1 den i apologized n i didnt really pay attention to tt sum1...den the 4 of us started toking, n suddenly rene,mabs n yoyo kept emphasising on 'u noe hu'. den i was lyk ya ya ya...n i turned to see who was beside me...which was the person i knocked into...den omg...lol...it was my jr...haha worst i cant recognize but i tot why tt person look so familiar...haha sad, plus i took her batch...had it was tt person they were emphasising, i would hv killed myself man!!! lol...

arrived at my hse bus stop...walked n walked...duno wads wrong, gt a serious, throbbing pain...say rating for me la...3...bearable but i dun wanna bear it!!! den was walking n walking until lrt stat...n i saw wai yeng n irfan! haha...so i shouted wai yeng but she nv hear...if im not wrong, coz it was irfan tt notify her!!! so tok to her...den asked her where she gg, the 2 of dem gg study, n i spent a whole day out hving fun! lol...so stress....so bid farewell to the 2 of dem!!! den go home...

home stuff, nth much...jus dinner, nap, watch ghost show n blogging...

childhood memories

2007-08-02T03:59:00.000-07:00

人在小，在脆弱，总有一天他一定会长大，会学习使自己坚强。天天回家，都会经过游乐场，看着孩子们玩得不亦乐乎，那种没有担忧，没有烦恼的生活，不经让我想起了童年往事。。。好想好想让时间倒回。。。回到从前。就像那些孩子们一样，跑来跑去，喊来喊去。。。就由在天空飞翔的小鸟儿，自由自在的飞啊，飞啊！但如今，这种想法是不可能的！！！好像有时间在和我的弟弟们玩个痛快,好像有时间陪陪家人。。。

我还不清楚，为设么明明对自己说我不会这么做，忍耐，这一切一切就会过去了。但是，我始终还是做不到！我现在唯一希望你能帮我的就是，请你告诉我吧！我不会难过，也不会伤心。。。或许会有一点，但我相信，这一切很快就会过去了。你的一个答案就能使我放弃得比较安心，比较快了。。。这或许是你能帮我的最后一件事了，你要帮或不帮我也无所谓了。

photos!!!

2007-08-01T08:51:00.000-07:00

haha...ok im gg to tok about the colour blue n white!!! after 10 yrs of wearing blue n white, i hv to put up wif the colour for another 3 more yrs!!! i cant believe it!!! no...no...no!!! actually i didnt realise it until today clinical briefing where aaron lim mentioned the blue n white represents nyp...den my old memories were triggered!!! "the ij uniform represents our sch, must wear properly...blah blah blah" den i turned to jia, "eh jia, its blue n white agn!!! 13 yrs or blue and white!!!" ok not only we r confide to 3 more yrs of blue n white, we are confide to 3 more yrs of more 'convent' style course...no offence to any nursing guys reading this!!! plus i hv jus joined make up club...i jus pray n hope i wont go the wrong way...haha

additional to blue n white, jia n i wore blue n white today!!!lol...great huh!

note to all people out there esp ...uh hmm...

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE...EVEN PARALLEL LINES MAY MEET ONE DAY...(meet in one str8 line, not stick tgt lyk a pair of chopsticks) if u still got no hope, check out this vid!!!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GNzBFnUAdo

and according to yq...song of the season:

Never Let You Go...by janice

ok above are photos of prata treat by cinthia, our lovely stud mentor...thx cin, then fotos of movie trip wif jiajia,n lastly jiajia n my flower shots!!

sad...

2007-08-01T03:13:00.000-07:00

今天的一切一切都很平静。对我来说，应该是件好事吧！现在的我只求幸福，快乐和智慧。其他的应该暂时抛到九霄云外吧！

我发现当你和一个或一群人在一起就了，举止，说话的语气甚至是思想或想法都会差不多是一样的。。。这就是朋友给我们的影响。现在想想，家敏说的一句话，虽然我从没想过但是，给她一讲，这句话我永远都会记住了。世上有这么多比我更好的女人。。。一句很没信心，没有抱握的话！

我现在很想告诉你，如果有设么不满，我宁可你在我面前大声地说出来。。。这样一来，我们俩就不会这么辛苦了。。。这样才向朋友吗！！！或许又是我在想太多了，但我没办法不去想啊！这一切使我感到很不安。。。一点安全感也么有。。。我不懂是该相信你还是不相信。你当然会说相信啦！这样会对彼此都有好处。。。可是我呢？我不能欺骗自己说我相信但在心里还是有点怪怪的感觉。。。

为设么当我在学校时，虽然哦俄会想到你但是我总是会路出笑脸，但当我一个人静一静时，我就马上跌到最低曹。。。痛苦该不会这么快救过了，但我还不会放弃直到那一天。。。

我求你

2007-07-31T09:03:00.000-07:00

我不晓得这一次石佛又在想太多了。我可爱的儿子说我真地想太多。就可惜我不想会死，想太多还是会死。那么就想吧！哈哈哈哈。。。我实在不想继续这样地活着！我想太多，某人也想太多，大家都想太多了！！！脑袋都要爆炸了！

偏偏在这时候，电脑给我一大堆麻烦，作业不这么搞定。。。叫天天不应，叫低低也不应。。。我不知这是设么话语！哈哈哈。。干却就算了吧！

小一作文谁没读过？请来这里读一读吧！！！哈哈哈。。。我也不清楚到底在写设么，只知道自己很累很累，只想一睡就再也不用醒过来了。。。世上的每一个人，永别了。。。

我恳求你，若有设么不满，你就单面讲好了。。。起码我会比较好过。。。

poem!!!

2007-07-31T06:03:00.000-07:00

happen to cum across this poem that gaya has commented to NCO 5th batch...

here is the poem:
We shared...
laughs of joy,
moments of pain,
tears of happiness!

We earned...
care,
understanding,
as well as a place,
in the heart of one another!

We talked...
about our dreams,
about being best friends for life,
just about everything imaginable!

When in trouble...
you helped with all your strength,
strength from your love,
love from your warm heart!

When asked why...
you simply smiled,
you questioned back" What are friends for?"
We walked right beside each other
as we felt a friendly breeze,
one that I shall never forget!

No matter where you'll be,
you'll always be in my heart,
just promise me that I'll be in yours!

You are an angel,
who walked into my life!

I would hate to say goodbye
because it seems too soon
But then again we never will
since a part of us
are always with each other

友谊万岁！！！
i shall dedicate this poem to all of my friends esp to my sec sch gang, fifth batch NCOs as well as those that help me stand up when im down......

thank you people n love ya!!!

心慌慌

2007-07-30T07:15:00.000-07:00

我找不到很好的原因
去阻挡这一切的情谊
这感觉太奇异
我抱歉不能说明

恋爱中的女人是最傻的。这到底是真，是假就让你决定吧！虽然已经告诉自己这一次我绝对不会说，不会再犯同样的错误，但是，傻乎乎的我却以举动再次犯同样的错误。就像家敏所说的，当你面对他时，所说的话都是蠢话。这使我们给对方的第一形象都糟蹋了。

我知道你很聪明，我不必说出答案你就已经知道了。可是，偏偏这就是让我被贬下去的原因。好几次告诉自己每个人都不一样…但是，这个原因始终对我来说，根本就是没有用！！！在矛盾和痛苦中，我已快被逼疯了！难道就没有别的选择了吗？
仍然知道聪明的你一定又会再次看穿我的心事，但是笨笨的我始终还是学不会！

眼泪就快流下了，你却说………………我真的真得不了解为何我得承受这一切！或许就像勇权所说的吧…这一切的一切就是自然的，人的本性。

回忆的声音
波在眼里
像是一首旋律
多莫美丽
要是我很肯定
你是我唯一
眨个眼我们就能分东西
再说我爱你
会把心键钜
只有些甜蜜
让伤心被允许
说过的话语
作过的事情
像歌曲陪我每个冬季
纪念这我和你相爱的主题

okok...enough of chinese...haha...finally after feeling jealous bcuz of gp 23 n 26 timetable, we finally got one pathetic slot that we are happy wif...haha n that is no sch for today...yippee...wen to watch harry potter wif jia today...met at 10,reached cinema tinking the movie was at 10.50, n wen we reached tm, looked at the monitor, my god the screen shows 12pm...haiz...ok jia saw the wrong cinema...so forgt bout it...we bought the tickets n hang rnd the playgrnd for 1-2 hr...slacking n toking n camwhoring...hehe...ok la, the movie not bad wad...why ppl say not nice...anw its over...i cant wait for the last movie...haha mayb gt time shall tk daron collection to read...hehe...aft movie, walk a while and head for rene's hse...ok so jia was to ask rene mumto help in altering her jeans n black pants that goes well wif ...ppl u noe hu....haha....den we sat down n chat tgt wif rene's mum n haha rene n dee acted in derene productions...haha all in all lets say ng for 8times though we still cant seems to perfect the sweet scene for jia...haha...but rene n i really enjoyed acting the scene...hehe...the omg!!! sorry! sorry!!! haha...

to jia: army pants army pants army pants army pants army pants army pants army pants army pants army pants army pants army pants army pants army pants army pants army pants army pants army pants army pants army pants army pants army pants army pants

hehe...time pass so fast today...agn lessons starts at 9...haiz...

Why! Why! Why!

2007-07-29T08:05:00.000-07:00

why is it that i need someone to talk to , you were always not there...its either, you were too busy, or jus that it was too late or rather its at the wrong time...den wads the pt of ever mentioning that, shld i hv any problem i can go to u...i want to...but i nv cld............

i always mentioned the word divorce easily...but yt, its sumtink dreadful that may happen...saying out at a light hearted mood, the response is so so much different from saying out at a serious mood...i hope n i pray that nth ll happen......

always hope for the best, spent a whole day, happily shopping, washing new clothes n yt the mood can be so easily dampen......lyk i say wen im doing project, im stress n pissed!!! pls pls for god sake dun disturb me that time...thx alot......hw can we be so happy one min n yt enemies at another...

i really hate to do this...but i jus dun understand, why cant i face reality...why cant i do it? is it becuz u started it n im jus following ur footsteps? i hv no idea...i can stand it no more......i really really feel lyk shouting it out loud......i duno shld i be happy that i hv met u, or shld i not? we shld hv met once b4 we met at our very first meeting...but fate didnt do it tt way, n so, why shld fate let us meet eye to eye the sec time?! one gt prob, two gt prob...when will our probs end? tt will be only wen we carry dem all down to grave wif us.........

i duno if i hv tt kind of strength that mummy has in her...hanging on...she has a very gd reason to hang on...but do i hv one? shld i be mummy's gd daughter once agn n forgt everytink...everytink that started long long long ago.........

kbox session fotos!!!

2007-07-28T08:41:00.000-07:00

ser n dee

puffer fish!!!

the 2 couples in 4G

min, mabs, dee, bing's hand n mike

mabs, cher, bing

my dear dear lao po!!!

sing in one united voice!!!!

6 emo ppl......all thx to dee!!! haha

cher, look at the cam!!!

mabs, bing, cher n dee!!!

ok i hv no idea if the captions are in the correct order...haha

We have all changed......

2007-07-28T07:09:00.001-07:00

We parted when we were all 16...promised to meet up asap...and so, we met up when we were 17...its less den a year, and yet, all of us have changed...the child in us has grown...we get people putting on make up, we get ppl toking bout J n R...we get people in a delimia of choosing...we get ppl who have risen to the position of a president...we have all grown up...knowing the path and direction in our lives...we aspire to be wad we aspire to be.........despite the differences and changes, the moment we met, we harp on the common topic which is.........well a topic we knew in our hearts......n our old gd memories...rmb we were comparing toilets in SJC and our current schools...haha...n ppl i have been toking bout is my old clan...mabs, ser, yo, min, cheryl n bing......

met up wif ser to go get a cake for mabs...search and search we finally settled for sum mango cake...haha...den wen to meet the rest...wen we arrived at the destination, no one was dere....haha dd a lil shopping in a shop tt i tot was cute...hehe...so met up wif the rest, bing, min n yo were late as usual...wen dey arrived, we went up to kbox...sing n sing n sing...sing until my mouth tired...haha...den took photos...jus tt this time rnd, we werent tt high...hmm...but i enjoyed today's trip...haha n best! i made mabs bdae wish came true!!! a gathering!!!hehe...the difference between tt time n this time was, tt time we wen totally high!!! nw, we sang all the songs tt werent so high...wakakaka....ok la most of the songs i choose today seems gt to do wif wad im feeling...hehe...first love was sang 3 times...haha but im jus addicted to tt song leh...aft everytink, foot the bill n all den we parted...time to say bye bye...haiz...ok la nt tt bad...den i persuaded ser to join us for dinner!!! hehe...den was discussing wad to eat wif mabs n we decided to eat ajisen ramen....hehe...i jus love their ramen...ok so i ordered miso char siew ramen+tako yaki+ice lemon tea, while mabs ordered black pepper beef ramen+chicken cullet+ice lemon tea n ser ordered shrimp siew mai...n we feasted....haha......den head for home...

message to ppl......(if u happen to be reading this...tee hee)
gang gang(u ppl shld noe hu u r la...haha) : thx for cuming today!!! really enjoyed u ppl's company...finally we are back tgt agn...next rnd may either be hols, or the next person's bdae...thx ppl i have alot of fun today...

cheryl: haha cher lala...congrats to ur position and all the best ya!!! u can do it de...gambateh neh!!!
mabel: Happy Birthday my dear gal!!! 17 le...n regarding __ __ dun worry la...haha...it ll be fine de...n mayb u nv noe, he's the destinated one...haha lyk u say fate...
mindy: lao po...haha...tk kaire k...as for certain things...we cant rush for it...n i heard u asked a few times jus now but i haven ans u but yoy ans...erm the relationship is gd frens...haha...
rou bing: ah bing arh...dun be so careless le hor...wasting money leh...look aft ur laptop well hor...hopefully can see u in sch!!!
ser: tue 8am at 159 if u r gg sch...haha...haiz i gt nth to say leh...wakakaka coz everytink i hv in my heart, u all noe le...hehe...k la...shall tok to u on the way to sch ba...ok nth to say n i said this much...
yoyo: yo, tk kaire k...drink lotsa water to bring down the temperature...anw, regarding so n so, its ok la...if u are clear, den dere shld nt be a prob...stay cool ya...n always respect ur own feelings!!! regarding wad u hv decided, im glad u made the right choice...

royston: im ok...nothing has bring up any emotions...so dun worry too much...hehe...thx for ur concern...

okok...so thats for today...i tink was yesterday, had lec den lecturer tell us to imagine we are in a forest, n write the first animal we see followed by the sec n the third. so the first one represents what u want ppl to see u as, the second is wad ppl see u as n lastly is wad u r...so wen i closed my eyes, i imagined a really thick dense forest...its lyk u walk in, u r totally wif nature but their aint a way to walk out...so apparently, i could nt see any animal at all...not for the first, sec nor third...so sad...den i saw a waterfall...i duno wad this means...jia say im not imaginative enough...but aft hearing my description of my forest, she says im sick...ok la, i aint sick jus tt im confused and tired...i really wish i cld jus isolate n be with nature in tt forest of mine...of coz, if u dun picture it to be too scary it shld be alright...haha...jia even said her forest has a silver path for her to walk, mine got no path...

ok...sum what i can declare aft i got so many advices...my mind is made up...im clear of everytink now, n seems lyk time has brought me back to the past agn...thx agn for the advice from u ppl...thx...

Family!!!

2007-07-24T05:49:00.000-07:00

haha...okok...so met up wif waiyeng who has nw been the gan ma of 2 lovely gals named dee n jia...haha...met up wif ganma n as usual...jia was late...den wooo time passed fast!!! haha...we had lunch at rnd 2-3 i cant rmb wad time...den walk walk n go hm...wakakaka jia jia darkest secret is known by ganma...i even made a pact wif ganma but den...it nv work...sad...haiz jia! cant u jus let us gif u a chance?! haha...ok la i noe u wan chance wif who la...haha

my family...
nenek moyang-rozi
nenek moyang (nekmo sister)- yvonne
ah gong- wanhin
leng loi ah ma- joey
ah ling ah ma- cailing
gu po-zi wei
mummy-nini
daddy- sinwei
gan ma-wai yeng
__ __ - _____ (this blank is to be filled by jia n dee in their hearts...haha)
mei- jia
mei fu- berg father...wakakaka
nephew- future berg...
son-yong quan

rough outline of the damn big damn long family...haha ok so project went quite well today thought i find that the way doesnt seems to gt everyone involve...gt to change my way...which i tot of...so hopefully, thur, all is well...n haha im happy today project was well quite a success...thou we didnt manage to finish but thur really must chiong le...

haiz...happy stuff nv gets to part wif sad stuff huh...why does it seems that the whole world prob is on us? i hv no idea...jia say only we tink lyk tt...but we cant help wad...they say, we sad...ok la other den one tink i worried, jia dun bother...haha...haiz...im wondering is there by chance im slipping bac to the past agn...haiz...i dun wan i so so dun wan...well tt was yesterday...haha!!! im gonna tk jia advice...yes everyone ought to have a chance...no one person is same...suddenly, i feel so much lighter...wakakaka

n tmr got to wake up on time b4 my dear dear sister kill me...haha i ll try,if nt, u go first ba...secure ur dream!!!haha

stress-free/ful

2007-07-21T09:10:00.000-07:00

haha...ok im blogging since jia asked me too...haha...ok actually gt nth much to blog bout but i noe deres alot of happening recently!!!

stress has been piling up up and more up...projects after projects...tests aft tests and sem exams are cuming on wk 18...date due for last project is wk 16...wooo hooo...gonna chiong everytink in 2 wks? FAT HOPE!!!den my old sch trend ll cum bac...haha which i noe ll kill me...wakakaka hopefully during tue 6 hrs break we can chiong finish fam com project...n tada i can concentrate on my studies!!! seriously...wai yeng is making me more stress...tmr gg study wif her n shes actually really gg to study FON...my god...hardworking...i can slack no more!!! CHIONG CHIONG CHIONG!!!!

ok watched transformers yesterday wif duke...hehe...ok la...he wanted to watch long ago jus tt his bro n sis didnt want to...wakakaka...ok la...daron said it was too much of sumtink making it not tt nice...as for dee...haha i nv liked such show anyway...haha...but then was helping yq wif his clinical...n to both of our surprise, he passed!!! weeeeeeeee...haha den he gave me a complimentry tic for transformers...but he's gg to watch wif his fam so i shall go on my own...den as everyone noes im not tt bad la...haha so thickskin...wakakaka...i asked duke to go watch since he had wanted to go...n movies alone are nv nice...hehe...

ok la...the starting n war scenes are too action for me to tk...hehe...but the rest is ok...nice...haiz so sad...i tink im the stupidest person to every cry over robots...haha...but sumhw, those crystal eyes dd show emotions!!! dun ask me why...mayb bcuz im still tt emotion...or mayb bcuz the person drawing was great!n im so gg to watch alone...i tink is alone...wadeva la tt new ghost show!!! its nice...frm the directors of shutter!!! i luv shutter n i belive im gg to love alone...anyway its so sad bout siamese twins...born tgt, live tgt but in the end, they still hv to separate...haiz...n chances of living agn is really really low!!! haiz........

recently duno why...haiz...pls let me inform u...wen im doing project this few days...my feeling is pissed...totally pissed...n if u choose to provoke me during tt time...im so sorry...u ll be stabbed to death by me...so pls!!! if u noe im toking bout u...for god sake PLS STOP PROVOKING ME!!!!!!!!!! thx alot!

thur had bio test...hehe was fun at first but boring at the end...imagine, everytime u sit on a chair n every min u hv to stand up n go to the next sit...go on for 25 times...n one time u slip n almost fall off the chair n ur neighbour is laughing...haha...but of coz my response : shut up la!...lol...to save us from lecturers...den another time, u walk to ur seat but den ur neighbour accidently spin the chair...n yt u can only stare blankly at the chair waiting for it to stop turning...haha mind is working real slow!!!haha jia arh jia arh...MUST I STICK WITH U FOR THE REST OF NEXT 3 YRS!!! haha...hw many times dd we actually was next door of each other in the toilet? hw cum u must be 2 n im 1? why oh why...haha...

haha ok today...met up wif d gals early...at 2 at toa payoh...haha...in the end, we took one hr to go to tpy lib...n ltr gt chased out...ni angry say go mac...so we end up eating n not doing much...i tink i shld nt hv asked for tt meet up...haha but we dd sum shopping though...hehe...den took bus to client's hse...n god the toddlers are cute!!! dd the interview n had fun...n suddenly, aft interview was done, i feel so relax...since safety presentation on fri, we had no rest n aft sch met up for today's interview dicussion...n finally everytink is done!!! weeeeeeeeeee....i really feel a load of my mind/heart wadeva...so we are gg to rest on mon n chiong on tue!!! my dear sub group 3...if u r reading this...thx for all the effort that u guys hv put in!!! n esp jia for assisting me in the project...THANKS PPL!!!

im happy...but yt wen i tink abt wk 16,17,18,19 i really bleah duno wad to do...i tink only jia n ira noes the reason...haha...haiz haiz haiz!!!! den hols is cuming!!! im happy n im sad...hw hw hw...wad am i to do?! n wen i compare myself to jia, jia is so so much worst but yt she can tink of a reason to make herself feel better...haiz...

Secretly in love...

2007-07-07T09:57:00.000-07:00

Aint it good to hv sum1 worrying and caring for u secretly? Somehw that's how things work...everything start off secretly unless u have enough courage to speak out...as sum famous ppl state to speak out before its too late...but its much easier said than done...tt's why many thing fail half over thru...

ok la...i hv no idea wad im crapping but all i noe is, it's good to noe that sum1 is worrying bout u n caring for u secretly...but it's tiring for that person thou...but sumhw, there's always an urge to hang on n be dere for that "fren" of urs...anyway...i duno wads wif the same situation but one can gif up n i shld not gif up......im feeling guilty my fren...i really am...haha...ll i evoke ur surpress feelings i duno...im jus afraid to upset u...

haha...ok mayb u gt blur reading all this...actually i oso veri blur...haha...ok la wad i hv jus said, it involves 4 ppl, my 2 frens, one whom i noe exist and me!!!hehe

ok game results...ans to wad jia ask me to do:
a. how are you feeling today?-wo ke yi
haha im still alrite to get pass today...
b.do ur friend see you?-lian ai da ren
actually i duno wad the song title means la...all i noe is to do wif love
c.will you get married?-fei ni mo shu
haha...ok i only belong to that one person
d.what is your best friend's theme song-superwomen
ok la...i hv lots of best friends...so they are all superwomen
e.what is the story of your life- ai de zhu xuan lv
ok so my story is all about love, n more love
f.what was primary school like- chao xi huan ni
err...so im liking everyone i meet? so no way!!! dere are many ppl i dislike too...haha
g.how can you get ahead in life?-zhong guo hua
okok...i hv to speak chi to get ahead...not quite hard for me...
h.what is the best thing about your friends?-superwomen
haha...ok...dey are all superwomen to save my day!!!
i.what is it stall for this weekend?- ting mama de hua
okok...i hv to be a gd gal n listen to mummy...
j.what song describes you?- chu kou
i duno hw much it describes me...
k.describe your grandparents?- ai dao
love...love...sweet...how true i duno
l.how is your life going- ting mama de hua
ok la...i noe i listen to my mum words alot la...
m.how does the world see you?-2 yue 30 hao jian
ok no link but most prob...i dun exist...haha
n.will you have a happy life?- lun dun da qiao kua xia lai
haha...oh no my life ll be lyk london bridge...collaspe
o.what does your friend really think of you?-2 yue 30 hao jian
again, i dun exist...haha
p.do people secretly lust after you?-qing zai wo hou hui zhi qian li kai wo
no link i guess
q.how can i make myself happy?-ai dao
haha...to get happy i nd love
r.what should you do with your life?-bu si zhi mi
haha...i shld not die...
s.will you ever have children?-qing zai wo hou hui zhi qian li kai wo
haha...seems lyk i ll not hv haha

ok end of game...not much link i guess...haha

5th batch NCOs 2nd gathering!!!

2007-06-29T06:16:00.000-07:00

NR0728 photos!!!

2007-06-29T05:34:00.000-07:00

a habit we will nv change.........

I hate sore eyes

2007-06-24T22:46:00.000-07:00

my gosh!!! i waited and waited...finally, its time for sch reopen...n stupid i hv to gt sore eyes from daron!!! den he can go sch and im detained at home!!! :'( anyway this is a lesson to learn before i really stepped into clinical area!!!

so to all nurses and nurses to be... nv be careless...everytink u do...remember to wash your hands...even if it's jus touching a small bottle of eyedrop!!!

this is so argh!!!i cant stand staying at home the whole day slping...so not my life...i wanna go back sch!!! i wanna meet jia n rene at 159 at 8am...i wanna see the rest of my class...:'( haiz...hopefully i ll gt well soon...during my course of recovery, thx to those that show concern...n yvonne really said sumtink tt made me super duper jealous!!!! ha

Wee.........

2007-06-23T10:51:00.000-07:00

alrite 16/6/2007...fifth batch squad gathering!!! woo hoo...so time to meet up wif old pals tt shed blood n sweat wif me for the past four years!!! but sad to say, the no. of ppl that attended was really pathetic! but oh well, we all had fun i guess!!! so woke up early in the morning and guess wad! i wasnt late at all!!! hehe...haha...so we all arrived at sentosa at arnd 10 plus - 11am. there was a slight drizzle wen we arrived at palawan beach...but the rugged us had nth to fear...hehe...we found a place, set up our stuff and started eating...according to gaya, we tend to eat everytime we meet...hehe...so started off the day wif gaya, ting, net, yani, ro, gek n me!!! hehe...after snacking abit, we went to waddle in the water...as the rest didnt want to get wet, we jus walk about in the water...we had a sand ball throwing competition to see who can throw the furthest!!! in the end, hald of my sandball landed in the sea and the other half on ro!!! haha...den we wen over to the playground to tk pics!!! hehe...we also saw sum cj ppl n one of dem look lyk jim...haha...marvel gel...wen we came back, ting say she was veri warm, so ting, yani n i decided to soak in the sea. we played until it began to rain...jus happen, jam arrived. so we used her poncho to cover all our belongings. in the end, an umbrella was used as the center pole of the 'tentage' to cover our belongings n 2 umbrellas were shared among us...i noe its damn stupid...haha...so its lyk raining...den on the beach, a bunch of ppl standing under 2 umbrella n eating below the umbrella...haha!!! wen we felt the rain was not gg to stop, we finally moved into the shelter...haha...n wen the rain stopped, we shift out agn n den rou bing appears!!! haha...funny tink is both rb n jam went over to siloso first before cuming over to palawan...wen to play water agn!!! den before we left the water due to high tide, gaya splash water on my head...salty water!!! gosh!!! haha...after we left the water, we had a hole digging competition...suppose to use heels, but i laughed so much tt i change to my hands...haha...we r lyk idiots la...standing in one row den all moving one leg n digging hole...haha...as the drizzle became heavier, we went to bather n wen vivo...Ro, ting n yani left...so the rest of us went on window shopping spree!!!hehe...den at forever 21, i was playing with the 'tai-tai' rings wif rb, gek n jam...hehe...so funny la...jam really thought i wen china...hha...went back home n saw adora...haha so qiao...she went sentosa the same time left the same time...though she went siloso...den aft tt she went vivo n we only saw each other at sk stat...haha...

as for today, chiong my CT essay last nite till 4am...only managed to wake up at 12nn...was nt able to accompany mum to visit ah ma. in the evening, head down to marina bay to meet cfp gang. in the end,dere were only meda, alvi,flora,jin yuan,eric n me...n those tt went kbox were flora, jin yuan n eric...steamboat...alot of splattering n sizzling...haha...pain...so we came up wif a checklist for it! that is to wear gloves, long sleeve shirt, jeans (never wear hot pants!!!) and a face mask that only expose the eyes...haha...alot of funny tink happened!!!firstly, meda spilled 2 cups of ice on my seat n my bag...causing me n her to scream so loud tt everyone's eyes were on us...haha...the scream was lyk the one we ride a rollarcoaster...haha...den next, flora tried to take a piece of meat n the whole steamboat thing was slanted...haha...den meda tried to put the food into the soup n she dropped it in.the water splash up n sum went onto jin yuan's face...thru out the whole tink, flora, alvi n i our hands were lyk ostrich, go in n out, wan to tk food but before we tk the food, our hands shrink back agn...haha...trauma from splattering...haha...and eric was crowned the prawn machine becoz of me!!! hehe...meda peng kang the prawn den pass it to me.
dee: i dun eat prawn (gg to pass to meda)
meda:i oso dun eat prawn
(dee turn arnd n put on alvi's plate)
meda: alvi dun eat unshelled prawn
(alvi wanted to pass to flora)
flora: (pointing to jin yuan) pass pass pass!!!
jin yuan: pass
so finally, the prawn landed on eric's plate...haha n he started shelling all the prawns!!! haha...n of coz those tt said pass n i dun eat prawns ( except me) were fed wif prawns...haha

only reached home at 12am plus...was afraid so i walked veri fast...duno hw many times i twisted my leg on the short route home...gosh...pain...n meda reminded me that we had known each other for 6-7mths le...which is a long time!!! time pass fast!!! n i really pei fu jin yuan for being able to hold on for 3 yrs!!! all the way jin yuan!!!

life is shitty!

2007-06-04T08:40:00.001-07:00

i duno...i really can't stand it anymore...why must i even cum into this world?! i duno...now the trio ll it ever fall apart i duno? why am i always changing? i duno...do i hv split personality? i duno mayb im crazy...

back in sjc, my fears were lonely n self-conscious, its a place, where i can totally hang out n be myself...a place, where i nv lost myself...den sp 2 wks, i lost myself totally!!! i nv could treat my sp frens lyk how i treat mab,rene,yo,min, jing yi n all...but sumhw, i found myself...now in 28...i lost myself once agn...a zombie me...i duno wad to do...i really duno wad to do...

to jia: im really sorry...i noe u hv alr tried ur best to salvage the whole situation tonite...im so sorry

it has been years since i last thought about S. i really feel lyk doing it...dis time, i can jus do it n be done wif it...sumhw, i dun bother bout my worries anymore, i dun bother abt ppl n i dun bother abt hw ppl tink of me...jus do it n be gone......................

i tink the only solution to find bac the old me i hv found it...but ll it work, i duno..............all i can say is, im getting worst n worst.........i cant accept tt...i duno wad to do...........i wanna say gdbye forever............................................................................................................................................................

2007-05-12T10:02:00.000-07:00

long tired day...

2007-05-08T05:54:00.000-07:00

that's the pic we took wen the class form "secret societ 28"...lol...okok today's a long day!!!im damn tired!!! sumhw, i cant concentrate today! haiz...i dun wanna tink bout it, but it jus keep popping in my mind! flashbacks n all...i jus cant concentrate in lectures...this is killing me...wen will it ever stop!!!

anyway, first lesson, foundation of nursing...cindy part was quite interesting...den the other lecturer was quite lor suo...kinda long...but we were looking forward to break n planning wad to do during break...den bio tut...lol...as usual tut always ends arnd half an hr earlier...so we, ira,jiamin,wanhin,joey,kumar n me dashed to koufu...didnt gt to eat dere yesterday so managed to do so today...lol...on the way i saw uncle tok...lol...so our plan was to do cbt for the first hr, den lunch for the sec hr n third hr, we shall go slack at library cafe...but plans were changed...our first hr was spent at koufu! den at koufu, saw eric...lol...den poh ling den cinthia...one day see so many ppl le...lol...

aft lunch, i went to check MUA notice board for interview results...was looking at the sch area...lol...cant seem to find sjc...was a lil disappointed den i check the names...lol...n i saw my name dere...lol...i was super duper happy...lol...of coz the sch ll b able to find out my sch (shs) so under the sch coloum was shs instead of sjc...lol...tt was one big mistk i dd for the interview...tmr gt orientation...n i realise yi ping is also in MUA...den ira,jiamin n wanhin went to e learning plaza...kumar disappear n joey went to meet her friend...met nini, ziwei n cai ling outside...so we all went in together...wanhin got laptop so he sat over the no com area all by himself...so lonely...lol...so we catered an hr for cbt...kumar n joey joined us ltr...den duno wad time the 2 of dem n cailing left for project, not long ltr, wanhin left oso...den 2pm...we suppose to pack up n go for break at lib cafe...but d stupid cbt was super duper long...den we cant seem to finish it...man...so we skipped break n do until 2.30pm...went out of elp den jiamin n ira bout drinks...i bout a cup of coffee...i pressed the button tt says "strong wif sugarmilk". out it came...was super hot, i took a sip, it was super bland...ziwei say only wen i drink until the end den it ll b sweet...i finished the whole cup, my overall conclusion...the coffee was bland, a lil sour n tastless...wad can i ask for its only 40 cents!!! it turns out tt no sugar nor milk was added...so bullshit!!!

we went for psychology tut...ok the tcher was great...quite fun oso...den project cum along...haiz...so many tink to do...
fri-critical thinking presentation
mon-cultural presentation
wk 6-bio exam
wk 8-foundation of nursing presentation
wk 8-sociology exam
wk 11-17 : psychology presentation

aft tut wen for lec...trina's lec...agn she called me to ans qns...she ask this guy by the name of marco to ans...the guy was sitting bhind me...den he could not ans n so trina said " i shall ask ur fren to help u...the fren in front of him..." red was not the colour of the day n im called agn!!! bang! haha...in the first place, im not his fren!!! lucky i alr found the ans...haha...aft trina's lec was sum mdm wong lec...wah! another lor suo lecturer...i wanted to write notes, but all she elaborate was her life story n sum lil pointers!!! but seems lyk no one lyks her coz the whole LT was veri noisy...haiz...tired...

tmr got small party for may babies...den project den cca...another long day!!!

Secret Society...

2007-05-04T08:16:00.000-07:00

jus as i tot everything was working and all is gg to be alrite, a war nearly broke out!!! lucky, give n tk n peace. now i noe, its always so easy to just say the 3 words 'gif n tk' but its so hard to put it into practice! all because of a misunderstanding...................

overslept by half hr this morning...i ll say this is the worst morning i had ever in my life so far!!! woke up at 7.30, suppose to meet jia min n rene at 8 at CP. i knew no way i could make it...so i decided not to meet them, n ask dem to go ahead...den daddy sent me to sch...reached sch at 8.45...went up to 4th floor, no one was at the corridor, went into the lab, it was empty...i freaked out!!! went out to go loo first...saw ira...*phew*...den lessons for the day started...as for the 'black' pact today, most of us wore black except khadijah n wazizi! but wazi wore a black jacket so it was kinda ok...cinthia today pass us chocolates...so sweet of her...i must say all doll lovers are sweet...lol...*so thickskin*...anyway, she purposely came out of lecture to pass me the chocs so i can pass to the class...a message was attached to it. kumar read it out n my so called secret was blah out...lol...kumar added a lil salt to it as well...

if u r reading this cinthia, on behalf of the class, Thank you for the chocolates!!! and by the way, joey kept the message...it was not n i believe will not be thrown away cause its really meaningful!!! n i lyk the popping words!!!

aft Hs 1087 tut, cynthia wanted to see kumar n me...abt sum competition n so suay or lucky, kumar ll be my com-mate for the next 2 yrs! HS 1084 lectures were boring today! went in late n were forced to sit at the back! backrows are noisy! but it is also good if u want to eat chocolates! lol...jia min dropped 3 pens, i under ira's seat, another under the step n the last one, all the way to the asle!!! jia min so cute la!!! she kept trying to put her pen thru ira's loopy earrings, but she failed cause she always ended up laughing...so wen ira bu zhu yi, i push my pen into the loop n ta da!!! lol...aft lab, lec, tut, finally we can hv lunch!!!sick of macs, sick of north canteen, we went south canteen. i cant wait for koufu to open!!! then we will hv another option!

project today was quite ok! at least we are more productive! and my theory of testing the hardness of faeces by pressing them with the fingertips really disgust the whole gp!lol...ira kept throwing paper balls at me n jia min...den she throw a liquid paper at my abdomen causing an impact!lucky no abdomen pain...lol...our project topic...lol...had so much fun today!!! royston called me during lec jus to tell me he saw the funny lecturer in his sch...lol...

more cam-whore times!!!

2007-05-04T08:06:00.000-07:00

well...that so called formal foto with 4 of us in a row...it didnt seems to worked out!!!

Camwhores time!!!

2007-05-03T07:06:00.000-07:00

i realise we took really really alot alot alot of fotos!!!lol...camwhores can indeed be our new nick...lol

Everything is going the wrong way!

2007-05-03T06:57:00.000-07:00

everything didnt turn out to be what i hv expected! i thought everything would go smoothly and we could have last long. it's only the second week and things are happening! im really wondering if we could survive through! i hope that things would finally turn out fine and we could go back to the life we used to lead!

tt's life...haiz...so lets tok bout wad happen today...5 of us wore yellow! joey, jia min, ira, wanhin n dee!!! it all started off wif ira buying her new yellow top! den she ask jia min n i to wear yellow together wif her...den joey n wanhin were added! wanhin said the only yellow shirt he had was his victoria pe shirt. to our surprise, this morning, joey wore yellow!!! den wanhin really came in his VS yellow pe tee!!! yay! 5 yellows!!! during trina's class, not surprising, yellow was the colour of the day! 5 yellow in a row, n duno why, today oso gt alot of ppl wear yellow!!!lol...so we were called to ans except joey!!!lucky her! sum ppl complain tt we nv ask them to wear yellow and so tomorrow, the whole class's wearing black!!!yay!

was discussing wif ira,jiamin n wanhin bout tmr's black...den we say tmr everyone shall dress all black, put on black coat n shades den meet at mrt station and walk to school with "shang hai tan" playing as the background music!!!lol...so black is tmr's colour!!!

im seriously wondering hw can bulimic's actually vomit without people knowing!!! i mean, it's like vomit produces alot of disgusting sounds! n sumtimes, the sounds are loud also! so hw can dey hide frm deir family members?!!!! haha...nvm! days are passing so fast...but yt, it seems lyk i still cant forgt things i ought to forgt...the special feeling make it a special thing...but was it the thing tt made me hold on? i hv no cue about it...

test for jobs!

2007-04-25T09:11:00.000-07:00

Your Career Personality: Caring, People-Oriented, and Competent

Your Ideal Careers:

Esthetician
Massage therapist
Nurse
Pediatrician
Personal assistant
Personal coach
Personal trainer
Preschool teacher
Volunteer coordinator
Wedding planner

The Quick and Dirty Career Test

test for bdae mth!

2007-04-25T09:08:00.001-07:00

Your True Birth Month Is June

FussyAbidingFriendlyStubbornTalkativeSensitiveExecutiveHesitatingEasily hurtActive mindEasily bored DaydreamerLoves to jokeTends to delayTemperamentalBrand consciousLoves to dress upHaving lots of ideasGood debating skills Funny and humorous Thinks far with vision Prone to getting coldsPolite and soft-spokenAble to show characterSeldom show emotionsKnows how to make friendsEasily influenced by kindness Takes time to recover when hurtChoosy and always wants the bestThose who love me are enemies; Those who hate me are friends

What's" Your True Birth Month?

new school term!!!

2007-04-17T05:56:00.000-07:00

life's change, bye to sec sch style n hi to poly style...actually deres not much diff la...just tt the breaks are at least 1 hr n we will hv more den 1 hr of break per day!!!lol...but sch hrs are a lil longer tts all...n i hv to get use to the fact tt my class has people wif age the range of 16-24. had fun in day 1 but i shant elaborate it!!!

today had so so so much fun!!!today, sum lec were lor suo, sum were dry n others were funny!!! but the lecs sumhw made me wanna carry on wif my course n becum a nurse!!! during lec, min, ira n i kept laughing for sum reasons i sumhw forget...dese 2 days, everytime d 3 of us enter a room, we will sure laugh de...its lyk laughing is so normal...laughing has been part of my life le...lol...during break,we went to eat aft tt wan hin wanna go to yio chu kang stat but ltr he postphone it, den i went to get CT wk bk...bcuz we duno hw to spend the rest of the 1 hr, we walk arnd until i decided to gt bubble tea...bubble tea was horrible! its lyk chi tea with milk...sumhw, we still cant find the each-a-cup store...aft tt went food jun behind the koi pond tk foto n tok to ira about ghost stuff...lol...duno why, but i hv the tendency to call ira raihan...lol..mayb bcuz she reminds me of raihan!!!

finally break's over n agn, we arrive at e-learning plaza about half n hr earlier...lol...den settle the stuff dere, go tour library. aft touring, break for another hr!!! whole of NR 0728 hang round library cafe! OMG! ira, min n i kept laughing n laughing...so many tinks to laugh about!!! ni ni is super amazing la!!! she can lyk concentrate on her studies wen we were laughing in front of her! aft tt, wen for sociology lessons! trina tan is really the best lecturer! her lessons are fun! we dun even hv to find jokes among ourselves...lol...aft tt hv safety lessons...dry n boring but overall, its alright! finally, we do not have to queue for bks at the bookshop anymore until next sem!!! yay...yesterday, i was tired on the way home while jia min was hyper...today it was vice versa!!! lol...so looking forward to tmr!!!

What a day!!!!

2007-04-02T07:56:00.000-07:00

oh my gosh! i feel really really terrible!!!i duno why! mayb its bcuz of tt sum1 tt spoilt my mood for the rest of the day!

went facial wif mum this morning. she tot the appointment was 10.30am. wen we arrived, we found out tt the shop only opens at 11am! well, started at 11.30am n only ended at 2.30am. wad a treatment!!! 3 hrs! nv ever had a facial for 3 hrs! after lunch, suppose to v a last min gathering wif meda. on the way to potong pasir stat, met kesia on the mrt...den chat wif her until potong pasir. out of the train, royston called...den tok tok tok, found meda, sat beside her. was still toking to him wen meda mouth sumtink...which i ll classify as the biggest joke of the day!!! lol...only she ll gt tt idea...lol...reached dhoby ghaut, went to buy tickets first. we bought 2 tickets for 4.40pm no. 23. after tt, accompanied meda to foodcourt for lunch. then we chat chat chat, some tinks accidently fly out, then played a belated april fool on royston. den tt sum1 spoilt my mood since lunch n it was jus bcuz of a call...i hv no idea why i flared up...but well i was quite pissed...im now wondering if i actually understand tt sum1! my mood dd not get better until b4 we just entered the cinema. the show was quite nice...the part where the lady plunged to death really gave me a shock!lol...

after movie, wen shopping a while den we had takoyaki! meda made me guessed the flavs of the balls...out of 4 guesses, i only got 1 correct! n tt was the last ball in the box!!!lol...but on my way home, my moodswings came back!!! haiz...im just super duper pissed...

I smelt elephant dung!!!

2007-03-31T07:21:00.000-07:00

yay! today wen zoo wif gaya n rb. woke up at 5am to prepare sandwiches. suppose to meet gaya n rb at ang mo kio interchange. both of dem were late. rb even mistook the terminal for interchange. well cant blame her...since its so alike.but in the end, she has to walk a long long way. took bus 138 to the zoo. everyone at first planned not to hv lunch at the restaurants in the zoo. but to bring our own lunch. in d end, we finished our 'lunch' at 10am...lol...more lyk recess den lunch! we walked around the whole park n watched 2 animal shows! walked around took alot of fotos. today, gaya n i became camwhores while rb became photographer! all of the fotos we took, rb was not in! well, she choose not to be in! then she took a candid shot of me looking very stress! but we hv no idea wen n where it was taken!!!

an object tt is never fascinating amazed me today! and tt is, the elephant dung! the dung of an elephant is very fibrous becuz 60% of their food are undigested n passed out. it is so fibrous tt d dung can be made into scrapebook!!! the tink is, the book does not stink! well, gaya, rb n i just smelt elephant's dung tody!!! as our 'lunch' was gone, we settled for kfc at playland. after walking up n down, gg round, we arrived at playland!!! at rnd 4pm, we left d zoo n ate Ben's n Jerry's. Ordered so much...while ordering the sundae, the guy was lyk 'whip cream?' gaya said 'no' n i said 'yes' in union! lol...maybe a war would break out, but it was served wif whip cream! haha...

on the way to zoo, it was more on a common topic...lol *wink* had alot of fun today...n thx god, the weather was fine...

Sometimes, being alone is not that bad

2007-03-30T00:13:00.000-07:00

today, im at home. no outings, nothing. sometimes i really enjoy the time i have for myself! 2 more days, it ll be the start of april. then soon, it will be 16th april. start of sch, n the end of my days watching drama...haiz...so fast our hols are over!

yesterday had lotsa fun!!!thx gaya!!! thx for making my day...met gaya at bugis station.had kfc for lunch...tok bout sum irritating ppl tt tink she really veri big...lyk this its super easy for her to fall next time wen she enter the society...haha...if ur noe hu im toking bout den u ppl r veri clever...but nvm dun care bout tt arrogant, wang en fu yi human. so back to story...gaya surprised me by wearing sch u la...she appears to be sum1 tt pon sch jus to go shopping wif me...lol...after lunch, shopped arnd bugis street for awhile before gg to bugis junction.i bought the butterfly necklace tt i laid my eyes on long ago. then we head for fox.if im not wrong, we spent at least 30 mins there. gaya bought 2 tops. went over to topshop followed by dorothy perkins. i bought a top. walked arnd seiyu. finally, i found the brand of the skincare products ive been looking for-LANEIGE. after purchasing the items, walked a lil longer at seiyu before gg to other places. wen we walked passed the noeprint shop...we snap a few pics n design. the stupid machine had a spoilt pen...so one of our pics was not decorated at all...haiz...walked until our legs gave way, we had a rest n a drink...den continued to shop around the mall...later, went to icon...n den back to bugis junction.walk walk walk until we found the edge n went in...gaya finally bought a pair of ballet flats n a pair of slippers...i bought a pair of heels...happily, we went to the basement to buy food...lol...wanted to go over to bugis street but there aint enough time. at the basement, we munched on corochan...i find the taste so so only...still prefer takoyaki...den bought 5 cream puffs bac...next time shld buy 10! we nv had enough...lol...

took bus back instead of mrt...the whole journey took 1hr! almost died!!! i cant wait to go to the zoo tmr!!! jus hope the weather ll be fine!!! cant wait for tmr!!!

Genting pics!!!

2007-03-15T23:33:00.000-07:00

Im confine at home!!!

2007-03-15T23:30:00.000-07:00

Just before i fell asleep last night, a tot came into my mind. it seems lyk i hv been struggling in a war for 2 mths. but at least, i survived the war! all the troubles are gone! went genting wif aunt's whole family n granny frm 11/3/07 to 13/3/07.

on the first day, first half of the day was gone just for the journey. we woke up at 5am, boarded the bus at 7.30am n only arrived at 3pm. while waiting for the rooms, qi qi jie jie n i went to walk around for half an hr. dose 3 days,i've been named as tour guide! afterall, it's my 3rd time at the 'new' genting while its deir first. so jie n i went to shop rnd den we went to join the rest. checked in n the rooms out of 3, only 1 was cleaned up. so sleeping formation: aunt,uncle n granny one rm. da jie n family one rm. jie n i another rm. the whole of day 1 was spent on the journey n shopping.

second day, weather was not veri good so we remain indoors. met rou bing at the breakfast area. i was super surprise...no wonder saturday she didnt join us for kbox. 2nd day played indoors, had baskin robins ice cream n shopping!!! found this shop on sec floor called miss wadeva. i luv the shop!the bracelets r totally simple n sweet! the pencil cases are super pretty. bags are totally powerful! d first time we entered, i bought a bracelet n a pencil case. d 2nd time we went in, jie bought bracelets n a pencil case, i bought another bracelet.the shop is totally bling!!! 3rd time we dd nt buy anitink but i had second look on a black tote bag. was considering if i shld gt it. granny n aunt made me do the right choice,if nt, i would hv regretted. i bought it on the 4th trip to the shop!!! tt nite, when granny, aunt, uncle n jie went to casino, i went to shop for a keychain for my bag! n after many attempts, i found it! red ruby, red diamond n pink diamond suspended by gold chains connected to a keyring. wif a lip shape 2 layer cushion, silver at the bottom, red on top wif the words 'hugs n kisses'. love it loads!aft dey were out from casino, jie n i played until 11pm. went back to hotel.

next morning, jie say she woke up at 1am n saw my hands flinging around doing para para!!! lol...she tot i couldnt sleep, but i was actually asleep!lol...3rd day, shop around, hv lunch n head for home. so suay, dun know wad happen, but i tear one of my smallest lingaments at my knee area. haiz...jus before gg home...this sux. during d 3 days, i had lotsa fun n 2 sleepless nites. didnt really sleep well. i took pics oso! the 3 days passed so fast tt i felt it was wks instead of 3 days. my lil nephew was super cute, kept imitating me during the 3 whole days...lol...now, im confine at home...haiz...cant go out, just becoz of my knee...im so bored!even wen i open the door, the air outside my hse smells so fresh...i so wanna go out!!!i cant wait to gt all my plans back!!!

Happy birthday Darling!!!

2007-02-24T06:09:00.000-08:00

Song dedicated to my dear gaya :

Happy birthday to u!
happy birthday to u!
happy bithday to Gaya!
happy birthday to u!

bcuz of gaya sake, i ll upload my blog now! lol...met qin, grace,lyna,alicia this morning at orchard control stat. to go hyatt for dist. party!!! yay...P.P gathering!!! finally...met bev ltr at hyatt together wif seren n nive. at hyatt, wen isabelle walked in, we were like wow! shes gg to turn to her nature self!!! ok seren was late as usual...bev wore specs coz eye got infection...but she looks nicer wif her spec...our future business lady!!! *mucks* luv her totally!!! mrs kumar came den had lunch at straits kitchen. food was nice...lol...we were all stuffed!!! den i tried all the diff kind of juices...barley tt taste like plain water wif sugar...tasteless...bandung...which taste lyk teh halia, pineapple not bad, guava too thick...best drink of the day, plum juice...yum yum...

phew...lucky sum ppl nv cum today. if nt, bev n qin ll go blah blah on n on...aft tt went far east n shop...left town at 4.45...so late la...rush to pasir ris interchange

gaya's dad, gaya, ting, net, ryan, jam came to fetch me...reached gaya's hse, eat a bit den eat cake took fotos...den net n ting left. so jam, ryan n i chat wif gaya's mum...den all gaya's secrets are spilled...lol...den gaya came bac, she ate den we continue to tk foto...took at first level, took at the stairs, took at the roof top...aiyo den sat on the roof wall...super scary for me...den took foto at toilet...so fun la!!! 8.45pm...had to rush hm...so gaya's dad sent me n ryan home...jam's dad sent her hm...we even took foto in gaya's dad car...lol...

thank you ppl...for all those that have contributed in making me really happy today...gathering wif P.P could nv hv been happier...n wif my dear squadmates its the best!!! thx lot my darlings...lastly, happy birthday gaya...i believe u r also veri happy today oso rite?!lol

It's a small world after all!!!

2007-02-07T20:10:00.000-08:00

it's a small world afterall, its a small world afterall, its a small world afterall, its a small small world...

went CP for breakfast wif mum and dad... dad went to work, mum n i went to buy things...den she met her baking class fren...and her fren's daughter happens to be one of the teachers in my sch!!! so qiao...but i cant remember wad is tt tcher name...if, if im not wrong, is ms tan...but i can only remember shes the one tt fail me for my pft...lol...

den went arnd to buy things, saw my mum's fren 3 times in a day...got to tutor duke tonite summore...haiz...tmr results come out...i can laugh al li want by 12am...lol...

Updates!

2007-02-07T07:52:00.000-08:00

never updated for 2 days or so...shall start from the 5th of Feb. that day was tang's last day in singapore with us. in the afternoon at around 1.30pm, rou bing met me at my hse to pass me something for tang. as it was still quite early for her to report to work, she went up to my place to chat. chat...chat...chat...she laughed alot...saying the topics were queer...but sumhw, her laughter has made me felt better...lol...she was suppose to report for work at 3pm and leave my hse at 2pm. in the end, we chat until we forgot the time and she only left at 2.30pm. waited for the bus with her. by the time she boarded the bus, it was close to 3pm...she was super late for work...lol...went home rest awhile before i got ready to head for the airport.was suppose to meet ryan n jam at CP control stat. at 7.45pm. then meet gek at 27 bus stop at 8pm. jam was late for 20min and she promised to be on time!!! ryan was later...in the end, have to make gek meet us at CP. by the time we left CP, it was alr 8.30pm...reached airport only at 9.15pm. met gaya and went swensens wif tang...eat and chat then at 10.30pm, we sent tang to the waiting lounge. we queued up just to give tang our last hug.then she went in. her last words to me were "aunty, dun cry arh!" i tried to but in the end, i didnt succeed...not really cry but just tears...jam cried...really cried. then we went home. by the time i reached home, it was closed to 12am. on the way home at the airport, the escalator suddenly slow down. i was not holding the railings and i felt my body leaning forward...lucky i gripped the railings on time...if not, i would hv rolled down the escalator...lol...

6/2/07. nothinh much happened though...just received alot of junk sms...and it the few...wad 7 yr old rina...etc.

7/2/07.nothing happened much also...just in the morning to the aftnn, was helping granny to roll wu xiang! actually it was quite fun rolling...some parts of the skin was lyk so thin that wen u touch the filling wif the skin, its so fun...den granny made me cut liver...was super yucky...hw hard i slam the chopper, the live never seems to be chopped!!! i had to push n pull before the liver separates...lol...but the scene was bloody...i ll say gd training...lol...then tutor duke until i want to die...wat to do wen u hv a notty student? i duno...did alot of thinking recently...alot of qns...fri results will be back...i oso duno wad to do...

Gathering!!!

2007-02-04T06:21:00.000-08:00

kk so shall update frm fri 2/2/07 till today 4/2/07.

2/2/07. finally im off frm all the baking n all...so wanted to go chinatown at night...den mum said granny cuming along and at night will be super crowded so we decided to go in the afternoon. dad said to have lunch wif us b4 we head for chinatown. had jack's for lunch...den went to buy facial form...etc. mum n dad quarrel wif the watson's ppl for sum no principle tink. den dad brought the stuff home and we head for chinatown...bought so many things...sweets,mochi,jelly...many many kg. peanuts, melon seeds at least 5kg. decorations...rou gan 1kg...all veri heavy...mum n i both bought a pair of new heels!!! after so much thinkin, i still settled for heels this year...lol...had dinner at the famous porridge shop...totally exhausted...lol...bought dinner for the rest and went home.

not long after i reach home, went out wif mum n dad to buy stuff for sat picnic wif gang gang.dad drove us to cp...went cold storage to buy ham, cheese, bread for picnic. somehow, mum bought rice, juice,drinks. i managed to get dad to buy bacardi n a can of jolly...den we had to tug the heavy bags from compass all the way to the carpark at compass heights...heavy...really heavy. on the way home, mum and dad quarrel...haiz...depressed...

3/2/07.woke up early to prepare the sandwhich...ok la...not veri early...at around 8am. dd the sandwhich n had breakfast by 9.30am. left house at 10.30am. walked lyk shit to the busstop all the way at sch...88...tot i was late. yo missed call me twice. wen i called, she was on the bus 53 wif min...n i told her im still at sengkang...so she was like so 88 is aeroplane is it? somehow or rather, i prove her right!!! haha...waited 5-10min for the bus and wen i boarded the bus, i saw seats at the end. so wen i was tapping my card, i heard someone said "eh...deanna" followed by another deanna...den looked up n saw rene n mabs...lol...so coincidental...wen we arrived at pasir ris interchange, min n yo have yet to reach la!!! ah bing say she will be late...min n yo came quite late so we waited for bing oso...den all head for the park!!! found tables...so we sat down n picnic...wind was super big!!!everything fly around...lol...min threw a popcorn into the air, the wind fly the popcorn back into min's mouth...lol...we all tried but i never succeed for once...lol...done wif lunch...pack up and went cycling...

cycled double wif mabs...lol...so diff at first la...i use all my strength oso not enuff...summore arms were aching from the weight yesterday. wen i finally got use to it, the hr was up...lol...during the whole ride, there was sum accidents wif bing...lol...den ending tt time, i couldnt turn in time n end up almost crashing into a tree...lol...aft tt, was only 2pm...mab n i wanted to go escape..but was not really worth it. min n yo gg heartland so i said go whitesands n shop awhile...in the end, we spent quite long dere...half way thru, i kanna moodswing...den go heartland mall aft tt...was nt tt bad...saw adora...lol....took 119 wif mabs n rene...bing went for work...yo n min went home together...

today,4/2/07. slept late last night. woke up at 9.30 dis morning...no breakfast then master came to bless us. aft all tt, mood was nt veri gd...but nvm...went for lunch...kway teow soup was super not nice...i change order to hokkien mee...had a watercress soup...was super delicious.den ta pao back for granny...and went shop n save to buy things. agn said buy bread but ended buying lotsa stuff...daron tried to show off his strength agn...bleah...den went home place the things den went over to master's place. i dun hv to go in...lucky...so read newspapers while waiting...today newspaper really veri nice leh...exciting...oilfish,fights, forbidden love etc.den went to buy cheese pancakes, VCDs n bread. den head for petrol kiosk...the 3 of us sure love it wen dad pumps his car...hehe...den went kovan...dad brought the 2 of dem for hair cut...mum n i went shopping!!! yes! i bought another new top!!! love it man...lol...den wen dey r done, went for dinner...i had kway teow soup...lol...but was super full thou...eat n go home...n singapore won the match!!! i didnt watch but heard dad keep saying refree kayu...well soccer's not my cup of tea thou. but even wen refree kayu n we can win, singapore all the way!!! happy for them...tmr im free...i hope im free...lol

Its over!!!

2007-02-01T07:59:00.000-08:00

2 more mins before the clock strike 12am!!! so now its still 1/2/07...yvonne's birthday!!! kk...today is the last day of my so called "baking camp"!!! yes!!! today dd kueh bulu...starting was super hot...my leg was at least 60cm frm the stove n still it was red from the heat. kk so no more baking tmr!!! haven been out this whole week!!!

tomorrow night flight postphone to monday. mum suddenly say seminar for tmr night is on 9th feb...so free for the day...wanted to buy something apart from facial wash...cant remember...mum mention tmr nite go chinatown to shop for new year goods...i dun mind...since im so free...lol...

just saw 2 magnets in mum room and she say i can take it if i like!!! yay!!! one's a star, the other's a heart!!! lovely...maybe my next collection will be magnets...magnets frm australia i hv lots...aiming at does from other countries!!! lol...

Moodswings are weird!!!

2007-01-29T06:23:00.000-08:00

don't know wadsup wif me at the later part of the day today...quite moody. maybe bcus daron kept playing the song graduation.haha...tt song, link back to one thing.it is the first song tt made me cry.n tt first time was sang by sjc npcc 8th batch...remembered tt time was pop nite...my squadmates were betting if i was the first to tear agn! at least i dd hold bac for quite some time lor!!! lol...

this morning, after i had my breakfast, i learnt to make my second batch of chi new year cookies!!! kueh pang cake...had fun!!! but flour was everywhere...den aft tt watch drama...before teaching duke.tution tchers are not nice...really not nice...

yesterday, 28/1/07. farewell for tang. was suppose to meet rou bing at hougang stat. at 12.30 pm...den jam say meet earlier so i push our meeting time to 12nn. k, i was late to meet rou bing, she was late too...den head for orchard stat. we arrived late...but we were the earliest...lol...followed by gaya. jam was late for the meeting time at 12.30pm. she was even late for the meeting time at 1pm!!! only jac was punctal for the 1pm meeting time. den we (rachel, rou bing, jacqueline, gayathri,jamine,michelle,tang and dee) head for taka's seoul garden. later, ryan, leo, ant joined us followed by ro. we spent many hrs eating n chatting...wad can u expect from a gp of gals?! lol...rou bing eat lots...shes the best man! the yucky ice kachang she made she can finish everytink wifout a single drop. mine chendol still had lotsa water in it...lol...

den we took fotos in seoul garden, outside seoul garden...den went to the level of the taxi stand, took fotos agn while waiting for clara...lol...clara came, ro n jac left.the rest of us went to the fountain outside taka to tk fotos agn...lol...den sumtink happen and we hv to move along...i didnt feel like gg home!!! the sky was still bright and the clock shows 5 plus...suddenly i dun feel lyk gg home...so we went to wisma to shop...rach bought a top n a hairband. while she was trying, ryan,mich,clara n tang were alr at starbucks...rou bing,sara n i was making our way to starbucks. clara ordered pasta n coffee. mich ordered low-fat orange muffin...i ordered a caramel frap. den rach,gaya,ting n net came den waited for us to finish n move on for home...finally i feel lyk gg home...lol...

i was caught in the act for so many times at seoul garden by jac n ro...den outside taka once by ryan...lol...sumone accidently kicked on a metal object...the object rolled...it sounded lyk a coin. everyone looked at tt direction, i was wiping my specs n hurrily put it on...lol...cut in the act by ryan!!! money-face me...lol...went home didnt had dinner except a few honey wings of mum...

if im not wrong, tomorrow will be making the 3rd batch of cny cookies!!! sat meeting the rest at pasir ris interchange for picnic!!! yay!!!

FUN!!!

2007-01-27T09:05:00.000-08:00

aiyo so many things to blog about!!! was down with flu and cough 2 days ago, didnt hv the mood to blog! ok now is 1.05am...wen the clock stuck 12.07am, daddy,daron n i was in the car and we have just entered seletar camp. i hv always wanted to go in and take a look...but never had the chance. so last night after supper, daddy drove past the place and i was toking bout it. so he said he will drive in to let us take a look!!! love him lots! wen we entered, it was quite dark but there were many street lamps so it was not that bad. then he told us that during the days in the army, there aint that many street lamps. then we went in, it was super duper cool!!! the houses are just like army barracks with a tinge of colonial taste!!! i love those buildings!!! i appreciate them but never ask me to stay in them!!! lol...so dad drove around. at some point, we were kind of lost. went to the east camp then to the west camp...daddy says the west camp is usually the more dirty side! it was super cool!!! he said he will bring me another time in the day to get a better look!!! so in the day is better look, in the night is better feel!!!lol

yesterday,27/1/07. was still having my flu, and the cough worsen. woke up wif block nose and bad cough. wash up had breakfast.then went to CP for lunch. start of the day had cold war wif dad. den brought duke along wif me to city link mall. went to mph to buy books. den he stomachache.go toilet...he say only got one cubical n sum stupid guy is tking veir long...so i brought him to marina square to use toilet. done...we shop around...trying to find my hairband, and my brown nail polish. den happen to let him find brick world...oh gosh!!! he dragged me there!!! den nvm...den finish we head for mrt and went home. den mum called and say she ll meet us...so ok...we said meet her at dohby. den she changed and said compass. so met at cp. went for dinner at foodcourt den go home. went home get duke to do his revision den mark and went jalan kayu for prata wif dad n daron. jalan kayu has many many memories wif prata punks...i miss dose times.i got a part time job!!! tutor duke 5 days a week! lol...

the day before yesterday,26/1/07. met mabs n jy at 12.30 at hougang interchange.tt was the supposed time.but in the end, we all turned up late. i was surprise mabs n i took the same mrt!!! i didnt noe until wen i was on the escalator, mabs gave me a shock. met jy and went to nyp. agn, she was wearing blue!!! she still say lucky she never wear pink...lol...i happen to be wearing pink...reach nyp, d sch was super big and super cold. jy say its more lyk a polyclinic, but i tink it looks more lyk hospital. we walk around n found sum exhibits. den we finally reach tt big area i duno wad area is tt thou.the registration place.aft walking around for long, we decided to sign up for tour. so the first tour was business den health sci den chemical life sci. we didnt opt for cls.but we joined coz it was raining.the business tour ended super fast. and we were led to the shs area.u look inside the building is super cool and cold!!! its totally the layout of hospitals!!! so under shs, d 2-3 blocks is lyk hospital building.during d tour, the first place we went was the operation theater. its further divided into 3 diff rooms. first room is to scrub...really scrub until he skin will tear!!! lol...until dead cells cum out. second room, put patient to slp while waiting to be cut open!!! 3rd room, the bodies are slashed!!! hehe...cool!!! den the next room we went was to learn cpr.den after tt was infantry. first we learn how the babies cum out, den we learn the whole procedure. then wad will happen to the baby aft tt. den we were shown a video on giving birth. ok i ll say got blood, a lot of yellow substance and water cuming out!!! jy finds it disgustin , i noe it is, but its lyk super cool!!! then the next room was about older patients. den we went over to the other side to roughly view dentistry and others. then guided by the 2 tour guides to cls. i duno is their legs long or wad...but they have nicknames...motor legs...cls was quite boring la...i tink the whole tour took 1 hr...walk until my leg want to die le...so we kind of regretted to continue. the other 2 gals asked for the tour coz they say see see..guess dey dun hv interest in it as well...lol...den went home...out of sch mus walk 15mins until my bus stop la!!! den waited for 10min...whole journey is 1/2 hr. i see it was slight drizzle so i decided not to walk the long sheltered area. walk the short cut. walk for about 20 steps or so, stupid rain came down pouring!!! i hv never been so lame and crazy...jy n mabs couldnt stand me at all!!! lol

the day,day before yesterday,25/1/07. meeting time was 2.30 at sch's side gate.lunch wif gaya,jam,ting,ryan n net.den ting called and say she n net got sumtink to settle, ll meet us at cp, she say ryan ll meet us dere too.so gaya say might as well wait, all walk to cp more fun.so we waited at sch busstop. sat down not long...sumhow i duno y, i jus turned around to see ash!!! gosh, i so long never see her le lor...missed her lyk crazy...den she show me her pinafore.lol...as usual, the most common place for a tear. a long tear...it was stiched back by my dear jr wif safety pin. i was lyk "gaya our jr skill not bad wad"...den k tok to ash awhile den ltr b4 she left i said "u still gt face to cum out!!!" den we all laughed and ah replied "to think u r my godsis" lol...miss those crazy times in sjc.den ting n net came out. finally!!! net not feeling well so she hv to go home. walk wif ting, fiona, gaya n jam to cp...2 brolly...under d rain. den reach fiona's hse she go hm n we went cp.settled for pizza huts.sumhw we ordered alot...so alot...end up stuffing n all...lol...if im not wrong we dd alil shopping...den we went home...yup we dd shopping...

now is 1.41am...its 12 more hrs b4 i go n meet the rest of the squad!!! yay!!! squad gathering cum tang farewell!!!

Its 25th of Jan!!!

2007-01-24T08:06:00.000-08:00

ok,its now 12.09. i still hv 14hr 20mins more to meet ryan, jam, gaya...etc for lunch!

Yesterday. i made my veri first batch of pineapple tarts!personally coached by my grandmother!!! it has been two years since i last step into the kitchen to bake! not cook! i had fun rolling the crust! so i spent the whole afternoon making the tarts.all in all,96 pineapple tarts!!! rest for awhile before preparing dinner! 3/4 of y day yesterday was spent in the kitchen!

The day before yesterday,23/1/07. went hougang mall to shop for clothers for new year. in the end, i bought a pair of jeans, a pair of knee length shorts, 2 skirts and a blouse. the bill came and it was $207.50!!! i was so super sure mum will scold me! wen i called her, i was right!!! but my grandmother was like its alright. as long as you like can le! i'm surprise! everytime i go shopping wif my frens, daddy will gif me $100.but i always hardly spent it and dis time, mum gave me $200 and it's still not enough!!! on the way to hougang mall, went to poon huat to buy pineapple fillings. then met up wif duke outside mac. had lunch at lonh john's silver. went ntuc to buy flour, butter and planta. then head for home!!!

had a dream last night! about the drama "ten brothers".i dreamt i managed to find the whole series on youtube! but well, its only a dream! nv happened!!!

i cant wait to meet up wif the rest later!!! shall turn in now! nights!

It's the 4 of us again!!!

2007-01-20T09:52:00.000-08:00

K now is 1.52am...so its already 21/1/07! hitting town later!!!

Yesterday,20/1/07. Met up wif Serene,Mabel and Jing Yi at Compass control station.we went to 27 bus stop,chat n all.we then took the bus all the way till somewhere in Tampines.frm dere, we walked all the way to tampines interchange to tk bus no. 8. wen we boarded the bus,the bus made a round and we found ourselves back to the same bus stop we alighted!!! So we like walked one big round! but nevermind! Not only is it a form of exercise,it also gave us the idea to go for dinner at TM!!! somehow today or dese few days im rather slow...slow in thinkin and really bad luck!

At TP, we went for the business tour...went for a skid...super funny! saw sabrina,naomi, yee ping n merissa dere. then outside the lecture room saw amanda den eldora. after the skid, we went to check out the various diplomas.Then we procceed to sch of applied sci.got some information then head for sch of information tech. heard something from the diploma tt involves security.the person toking sure reminds me of Mr Yeo! then headed for diploma in info tech.Jing Yi n Rene die die oso dun wan to take...so i dragged Mabs to take neoprint look alike wif me!lol...den rene wanna go check out the game tink...after everytink is done, we decided to go walk around. den i saw clarrisa,priya n ramona. Nothing to walk...head for TM!!!

Walk around TM...JY say tired...in the end,she was walking around super quiet.i received a couple of rolled eyes frm JY n Mabs!lol...had pizza hut for dinner!every1 forgt tt rene cant eat pineapple...in the end, she always gt the slices tt has the most pineapples...lol...for me, the usual...cheese covered pizzas! lol...i remember toking bout wad pure...den we all kept laughing over it...never really enjoyed myself so much! Went home, sat in the bus. as usual, Mabs n Rene sit together, JY n I sat together.mabs n rene listening to their music, jy listening to her own...n a zombie sat bside her.after dinner was quite crappy but on the way...energy low...lol...I'm tired!but yet,i wan to look at the scenery n i want to tok! so i just sat there staring into space! wen alighting, i had only one hand free and had to go down the stairs to the first deck. so suay! the bus made a sharp turn, i couldnt stand firm n smack! i dd a 90 degrees turn n smack right into the window!!! just my luck! n so throw face la!

today made me as crappy as i was in sch!!! im looking forward to the next gathering on either 25 or 26...its the 4 of us agn! but i really cant wait for the big gathering which consist of Cheryl,Mabel,Mindy,Serene,Roubing,Yolanda n Dee!!! sch time feeling ll be back agn!!! hehe...yay!i wonder why wen im wif dem, i can crap so much! I love it! but theirs ears are tortured!Outing NYP open hse next wk!!!

Sick!Sick!Sick!

2007-01-15T20:22:00.000-08:00

haiz...tired,uncomfortable!!! wonder how i got my flu...its either from mum, or i catch a cold in the night. but one thing i noe is that my immune system is weak now!!! heard mum and dad toking bout getting flu jab.i hate injections!!! i scared of pain.n wen the needle prick ur skin, its the 1st pain. wen the doctor pushed in the vaccine, its the 2nd pain. don't tell me after my flu, i hv to inject somemore virus into my body!!! I dont like!!!

So now i got flu, cough, soar thoart...fever?i dont know if i've got a fever.but i took a pill in case...but the rest is confirm...haiz...so uncomfortable...

Brother Association!!!

2007-01-15T07:54:00.000-08:00

So life has been a little more interesting this few days!!! 10/1/07 - 12/1/07 was SJC's annual camp! went back to help out...but there aint much to help. Second night was campfire. Duno who suggested doing senior instructor dance. so last min, khiu ask us to go sch earlier to learn. song was "twist agn" n steps were the steps we used during last years tcher's day. not all the steps were recalled thou! lol...so khiu n polar came up wif their own. then,my forever partner jing yi!!! so we practice, then the cj ppl do their mass dance. khiu tried the guys' steps end up lookin so foolish! cute! campfire was not bad tt nite, but was raining the whole night.

12/1/07. SP had a jam n hop night. Darren asked me to go.and he said if i dun go, meda n nat ll not go.but noeing my dad will not allow, i said my dad ll not allow. to my surprise, my dad allowed!!! just tt im not to touch alcohol at all!!! felt kind of guilty wen he said that...for some dumb reasons, i dd touch dem on one of the nights.so met meda at potong pasir station. den went SP first b4 meeting nat agn. Join Darren n rest. den meda n i went to find dinner. picked nat up and we chat. so the whole night until 9.30pm, we watch performance,chat and eat. We didnt dance...me got no mood to dance and it wasnt fun as the whole gp wasnt dere...so yup!

Yesterday, 14/1/07. Second day of Open house of RP. no one go wif me...so i gt daron to join me. daddy say he will fetch us! in the end, duke came along...lol...so we played the games and activities, view the exhibits and all! was fun!!! saw sharon ma'am...was kind of surprise...then came home, decided to change my blogskin. thou i didnt noe how, i tired using trial and error method!!!and i got it!!! then add tagboard!!! gaya yesterday told me about brother association!!! we all have a new name! Ai Ting=Anthony, lynnette=leonard, iryani=ryan, gaya=googles gart and dee=dylan. it was devin at first but i changed it! lol...

had been thinkin alot lately...all the thinking has given me headache, made me moody and upset. but it gave me a better heart!!! lol...

5th batch NCOs are frens for life!!!

2007-01-04T08:25:00.000-08:00

Was suppose to be the 1st day of job 2dae! but as we r only needed to work 4 3 days, n there is 6 of us, so we decided to let 2 ppl work on a day. Wanted to work wif tab 2dae but amily say she cant make it on sat, so we change days. so 1st day was amily n eric (A&E) ,2nd day was jess n jin yuan (JJ), n last day is dee n tab (D&T)! but today, amily told me that jin yuan will not be able to make it tmr, so she is tkin over! Now i'm listening to the first song that made me cry! Because you loved me by Celine Dion! Gaya is rite! NCOs fifth batch are frens for life! anyway, met tab at dover satation today. both of us were late! I was late for 15 mins, n she was late for 1/2 hr!!! so we went for SP's open hse! then aft career tok, we waited for amily n eric. wanted to tok to uncle francis but he sumhw left. so tab left, then i join the 2 of them for Mac fries! then waited for their pay. Left SP at 7pm. reached home at 8 plus.

MAN!!! i got so much memories after hearing the song!!! my squad, darling squadmates, POP, CFP! why after school started, our friendship has been drifting apart! Does it really means the end? now the barrier of communication is clear! Its harder for me to communicate now! I guess it will 4ever stay this way...for we ll ll go our separate ways. now, will the term-buddy still exist? why has things come to such an end? Before everything comes to an end, thank you buddy for the chats! Thank you!

First post of the year!

2007-01-02T07:44:00.000-08:00

kk! so this is the first post of the year!!! for gaya's sick, im updating my blog! just now mum came running to me to complaine bout my fone bill! hehe...i knew it ll happen! wif cfp, christmas and new year! i hit 70 plus for the first time!

actually got alot of things to say...bt all to private to mention here...hehe...anyway...im gg to start doodling all over my SPO soon! anyway i ll be free for this 3 mths...

YAY!!!

2006-12-29T23:42:00.000-08:00

ok sumhw, dee's feeling better! much better!!!maybe becoz i hv tok to so many people abt it!!! n mayb last night was the final tok bout it!!! maybe it is, mayb its not...hu noes...bt i dun want to care bout it anymore!!!

the last person i hv tok bout it wif is jin yuan!!! haha...ok up till now last person is jin yuan. i dun wanna tink so much anymore!live life as it is, our lives will be much better!!! think too much, ll only hurt ourselves! oh not forgetting bout jess too! maybe sumhw, she dd hit sum sense to me! lyk she says, nth bother us more other den our lives. for her, her life is more precious...listening to her story...i agree...tinking, wifout life, we tink so much is oso useless!!!

i live for myself, my family, and my love ones...im not going to bother so much le!!! I'm BACK!!! the CFP one, is gone forever!!! yay!!! crazy, cheerful, carefree, emotional dee is back! 3 mths, i cater to SJCians outing!!! gang gang, P.P, ba xian guo hai.........................

Still not doing well...

2006-12-28T06:47:00.000-08:00

haiz...the yr 2006 is coming to an end soon! then, 1st 3 mths will start! haiz...the more i talk bout 1st 3 mths, the more upset i get!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i really wanna cry! why!why!why! why do i feel so inferior!why!i dun understand!so what if i dun gt into 1st 3 mths? it doesnt mean anytink!why must i have this kind o mindset?! i made the choice not to apply for MI but why am i feeling all this now?!haiz...ARGH!!! i need to cycle! i need to shout! i need the breeze! I NEED TO GO TO THE BEACH AGAIN!!!

Feeling really lousy!!!

2006-12-26T06:53:00.002-08:00

ARGH!!! I'm seriously feeling extremely lousy now!!! I have like just recovered from all my moodswings and now I'm totally going into another...haiz

how? how? how? mum allowed!!! bt i duno how to tell dad...haiz...shld i tk up d job? or shld i not? i believe i ll bcum wad mum say if i do not hv good results : zhi bao zhi qi n go to work aft Os. haiz...bt its all the way at dover, everyday must wake up early...den go home late n now wifout any company.

really boring...seriously boring...first 3 mths leave me wif lil ppl around me agn!!! no one to play wif me, no one to tok to me...haiz...where are all the people in the world i can tok to?!

1st mths means ppl go sch, i stay at home n slack while others work!!! haiz...hw?hw?hw? bev go work! mabs n rene duno go where!!! why am i forever stuck wif so many unsolve qns?!im seriously bored!!! wheres thambi, waste material, ant n duck?! i want night chats!!!

haiz...time stop now!!! I WANNA SHOUT IT OUT LOUD!!! time to go back to the beach agn!

BURNT! BURNT! BURNT!

2006-12-16T07:53:00.000-08:00

all i can say is that today is totally fun! met up wif Nat, Gary, Jin yuan n John first. head for sentosa!!! starting, nat n me just sat around playing wif sand and chatting, looking aft the belongings. the guys went to play water! we took the chance to tk fotos and wait for alvina. when alvina came, we all went into water...fun! had sum ball games, but most of the time, i spent soaking in the water n chatting wif john...

den 4 plus hv to go fetch medalene...made me walk until so uncomfortable...so much sand in my slippers...den meda came, i hv to leave, so we took gp foto first den i go n bathe.aft bathing i went to purchase the fotos b4 headin to outram park station to meet my family...had family dinner at havelock road...food not bad, would i say i ate lil? haha...no idea!!! but im suffering frm burnts!!! pain pain pain!!!

Irritating!!!

2006-12-09T04:44:00.000-08:00

Its not just you hv feelings...I hv mine to la! You felt disappointed...but why don't you ever think that i felt guilty? I hv my own friends, I follow the wave,you should not have blame me.

Don't it ever occur that the next one to feel low was me? Forget about it! You never will understand. Why do I have to be hurt in this way. Now it's worst! Mandy is angry that I drop her bag, why would I ever do it on purpose? Why must all this happen at the same time? Will I be able to recover in 2 days? I miss my old me. If these activities will remove me, I rather not have it.

Why have we all come as strangers, then friends, and now enemies? Why is there always the moodswing in the atmosphere?

more fotos!!!

2006-12-03T05:13:00.000-08:00

prom fotos!!!

2006-12-03T05:05:00.000-08:00

What a dream!!!

2006-11-17T07:45:00.000-08:00

ok another incident where i fall asleep and wake up again...haiz...

here it goes: qin, bev and me were walking and chatting along this dark dark street...no headlights above but everything before the eye was still visible...thou it was dark, a very strong sense came to me that it was the road to kumar's house.

as we were walking, we saw someone waiting by the curb...suddenly, a car came to a halt in front of that someone...now we were close enough to see who was in the car...bev suddenly shouted "hey! he is shawn from our tuition right?!" then she went to tok to him...me and qin were totally embrassed...

when bev came back to us, he was about to leave.he asked us if we needed a ride...i said "no, thx. its all right." then bev and qin kept promting me to ask for lion's no. and email...so i ignored them and we carried on walking...until we reached a bus stop...then we were toking...all i remembered was that we were comparing voices...i said shawn voice is nice but lion's hoarse.then theres this big man walk past us and waited at the same bus stop.

and i woke up...strange is thou it felt lyk we were on the road towards kumar's hse, the road is nowhere i hv been before. and when the car stopped by, becuz the road was so dark, it made an orange effect on the car when the car door was open...

haha i duno why this dream came up...but it was totally weird...does it really imply sumtink? lyk the exams one...lol...

Horrible dream!

2006-11-16T00:11:00.000-08:00

Oh gosh! so many things have been happening these days. Tuitions and more tuitions...which is already over...oncoming events...EXAMS!!!

was studying hist then i fall asleep...i dreamt i was doing my english paper in my house...no idea where that house is, but is my home in the dream...suddenly there was disruption...no water supply to my house...my dad had to go over to the neighbours to check out the pipe...worst i was doing my paper half way when all this happen...suddenly the person ensuring tt i was doing my paper who is my cousin...dissapear...wen around searching for her...god!i didn't complete my paper and it was times up...and she was still not dare...then asking around, i find her in my neighbour's toilet bathing...haha...but i was lyk screaming how how i didnt finish the paper!!! all she did was lyk u go and do now! ltr i ask my mum to go back to ur hse and collect...phew! i dash back to my house and then i woke up...

i hope that will never ever happen...oh and suddenly my house was filled wif all my relatives...because of water disruption...haiz...should i say the exams stress are too much, or should i say im too stress over history...i duno!

Sunshine or downpour?!

2006-09-12T00:15:00.000-07:00

so today had PPP...no testing for math slot though...we checked A-math and E-math papers. passed E-math...overall haha...was hoping the school converts one of the papers to 100% den i ll gt B3, in the end, they convert both to 50%...haha so happy gt B3...will work harder wif bevto score our As and A-math was so close...haiz...2 more marks...i ll pass...we will also work hard, this really hard to get at least B3...haha but my target...A2 will i make it, it all depends...

so different groups allocated to diff teachers...saw G's and K's class...i noe the classes are bad...haha....but guess they just have to work harder...work hard peeps!!! not forgting my dear dear bev!!! PP...will help you get thru it!!! we will!!!

hiyo, must tell results to kumar n parents...E-math ok la...not so hard to tell, A-math tell parents ltr...complain to kumar agn i die!!! at most kanna scolded only lor...dad ask me control usage of com...everyday 1 hr...den 1 hr lor...no as if i ll die if i dun use the com...i hardly tok on msn oso...hmm....i see sum kpo ppl has been reading my blog....haha...if u noe hu u r, gd for u...if u dun, den forgt bout it...haha!!!

so episode close...settle...i got to say G gel her hair yesterday! nice! i like it but it looks a little like how val last time use to style...haha...after school got assembly...ok lor...i wonder wads the crime! anyway...G cried i guess so yup...wonder how she dd for geog...

Wee!!!

2006-09-09T09:05:00.000-07:00

ok so woke up in the morning, had breakfast...den pack up, bathe and get ready to go for party...

at he multi-purpose room, blew ballons...ewiew, the mouth piece tasted salty...i blew until ou of breath...haha...so ya...i was too short...so got daron to go put up the banner...then they had their party, i went swimming...for half an hour...haha...lack of stamina...so decided to stop, anyway i bathe long oso...haha...so my aunt dd spa for me, then we went steam bath den wash everytink off...i think i spent at least one hr in the toilet...and joanna and yar shi were waiting for me...so pai sei...haha...daron invited them but they were to shy to go in...hehe...so by the time i came out they have to go, which is kind of sad...so daron got his friends, duke also gt his frens, and ccl gt his, haiz...not my party wad can i say...hehe...but lucky ccl invited serene and her sister, michelle...i noe serene more than mich aft all, i "work" wif serene b4...hehe...

so starting was a little bored...until things warm up, and i joined serene and mich to talk...haha...still cant tok much wif mich, but i kept blahing on wif serene...tok about everytink under the world...hehe...so fun!!!miss dose tok...haha...den 10pm, they went off,duke's ali baba still around...11, all sent home and i went home too...hehe

hmm...many things have been happening...had a dream on Wed nite...gosh! i really really really love that dream...haha...although i did quarral wif yo in tt dream...haha...how i wish i nv wake up from tt dream...aww...i luv tt dream, wads the content? only two ppl noes bout it...unless u hv a way to peep into my very own diary...lol...so bev played wif tt "luv letter" haha...and tt dumb ryan gt tramatised...wawawawa i nd my mummy!!! haha...so i heard he did not sleep the whole night aft he received the letter signed off by banana but proudly written by bev and qin!!! haha...now my clique noes bout it, and bev's clique noes bout it, serene too...haha...

so got my braces off on 1st Sep 2006, collected and put on retainers (which sux) on 8th Sep 2006.

so gtg...i had fun today!!! hhee..........WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway, saw the ugly side of Singaporeans today!!! haha...horrible ppl...esp trolley stealers and B and L!!! lol...

Monster house sux?

2006-09-06T04:14:00.000-07:00

haha...so happy...went for movie at PS today...hehe...ok ask mum if i could tk Duke out for movies and she agreed!!! but im not gg to bring him out ever agn!!! arh!!! so Daron and I wanted to watch THE HOST...but Duke say nah...i wanna watch Monster House...so alright im ind of keen on it...but i don't feel like sacrificing my horror movies...haiz...in the end, i dd sacrifice...haha...past few days wanted to watch horror shows but all NC16...no one watch wif me...finally gt PG horror, also got problem...i feel like killing myself can!!! argh!!! so yup watched monster house...not scary...i rate it so so...bev says nice....ok only lor...so went spotlight...found charms and braclet...we are so gg dere aft Os...hehe

thx bev...for introducing me to online shopping...but haha...not really addicted...only to charms...but kind of ex...mum's fren gave dis damn good lobang...help dis lady queue for 4 hrs and u earned $50...I want!!! but i cant busy on that day!!! $50 fly away!!! haiz...

ok so i bought 3 charms online...hehe...Daron suggested going arcade before movies...hehe...saw lucia, sharon and another gal...i duno how to spell her name...den Duke fumble wif one of the machines and it worked!!! we nearly gt the plush for free!!! but it dropped...haha so Duke paid another dollar...no luck this time...after movie suppose to go get sum party stuff...none to mum's liking so back to CP...all the Ps...haha...so had dinner...shop around for a while then go home...oh ya...saw so many ppl today...haha...walking to LRT station at start of outing, saw Khiu...hehe...she seems happy so do i...haha...den ltr reach Kangkar station saw Xin Jie,at douby gaut station, saw emily...haha...then at arcade saw the 4F gals...

i have rented my gown!!! haha...solved it once and for all...tmr meeting jing yi...gg to try her gown...haha...i really really hope she can find one that she like, then she ll go prom!!! yay!!! haha...so yup...den aft tt gg lunch...den i ll decide to go home or go tuition straight...haha...cant wait to see Prata Punks tmr!!! hehe...qin tt day ask me go her blog...haiz...happen to have sum emotion prob...den ask me go read...summore so touching...haha...i cried....actually me crying is nothing la...haha...ok so long time no blog, Prata Punks do come up wif sum fun during tuition...haha...bev dear match me wif dis dumbo called R___...ewiew!!! so well she's match wif G____haha...so i matched serenella wif A____, bev matched qin wif M_____, mel wif prata guy....haha...grace i match wif hehe i duno his name...lol...yay!!! tmr nite!!! we are hitting jalan kayu!!! haha

HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY...HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUKE

2006-09-01T02:48:00.000-07:00

ok ok...HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY to all teachers in the whole world!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DUKE!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!

alright kiddo...1 more yr or 2 more u ll be a teenage le...lol...

so we went Paris for lunch...yum yum...ok before that, went to remove my braces!!! hurray!!! my teeth are free of metals...lol...and it stinks and hurt wen removal...lol...

kk gtg...bye!!!

PRELIMS OVER!!!

2006-08-26T04:28:00.000-07:00

yay!!! ok so we started paper at 8.15am ended it at 9.15am...teacher collecting our class papers was damn slow...so irritating kept gg to 4F thinking its 4G...making all of us laugh...so finish collecting papers is already like 9.30am...

hmm........didn't managed to catch a glismp of what she take...my dumbo friend...lol...ok so ms chow wants to see us for some CCA leaps thing...haha managed to get an A, happy but what for, im not even going JC...wasting points le...haiz...so drag until 10 plus...gosh...had breakfast tea with lower sec...their recess happens to clash...so ate and go...reached bugis at 11 plus...rou bing went library...so yo, mindy and I went to find bag and stuff...mindy needs to get a bag for her friend tammy...the 3 of us belts and 4 sets of b'dae pressie for me...so bugis street...we bought belts...i bought two...leather and weave kind...cheap and i love them...

went to seiyu...mindy still cant find a bag...finally we found it and she got it for $22...so yup after much walking...i bought nike bottle, IP zone tee,toy turtle, notebook and emily's belated b'dae gift...hehe...so few days later have to get jing yi's one...haiz...im getting broke...when we walk with mindy...we nv complain...when its time for me to find my things....she kept wining...lol...shes a bad shopper...haha...next time shld go out wif yo and rou bing instead...lol...met rou bing in food court...had lunch...shop for the last gift and we left bugis...

thought the day has ended...but we went to kovan as a gp...coz yo wants to go then i asked rou bing...and she said ok...so off we go...had bubble tea...i bought wrapper...yup...

this whole day was dated 25 Aug...and i spent $70 all in all...food and gifts...lol

HORRIBLE PEOPLE!!!

2006-08-19T04:00:00.000-07:00

i dun understand...y is the human nature lyk tt? why cant u just tell me the truth? lyk where on earth did i done wrong to u!!! NO!!! ok mayb i did it withour realising...perharps u shld just tell me and not let me make the same mistk...but i guess u r cruel enough to make me live in agony...

worst...u tok to me lyk nothing has happen...and behind my back u sae sumtink bad about me...human are horrible creatures...and i believe u are!!! forgat bout it...u can go tok all u wan...aft all, its ur mouth,i hv no right to control it...y am i always makin such frens? deres one time i made dis fren, she betrayed me big time...well i didnt really treated her as a fren...but cant believe, i really treat u as my fren, n u dd dis...and now u r running away!!! hahahahahahahahahahaha...human r so weird...but who has the time to care bout all this...i dont n i dont care anymore!!!

:)

2006-08-18T19:54:00.000-07:00

ok now im waiting for daddy to say let's go...i've jus changed into my swimming costume...bleah...hungry ghost festival's over...now say im superstitious...jus tt those time i hv too mug non stop...bleah...

so say im waiting...haiz...all bored...better than unable to absorb every single tink now...so might as well go into the waters and hv sum fun first!!!

gtg...bb luv u ppl!!!

2 days break!!!

2006-08-18T07:09:00.000-07:00

lol...ok so prelims r still gg on...which is totally sucky...haha...had lunch 2dae wif jing yi...oh the way i saw jim...bleah its the sec time at the same spot le...haha y do i always forgt normal school ends lesson on fri at 12 or 12.30? haha...so we pretend we didnt c each other...haha...so coincidental...

so had lunch at BK...well there's hardly any choice for us in BK thou, its either fish or chicken so we both gt the chicken set...munch n swallow, munch n swallow...den we tok bout supernatural powers n stuff...den our nightmares last night...haha...mine was scary...sum dead ppl...den ltr she teach me kinematics...a while n we started tokin...left BK at 3pm...saw kendra n hui min...den blah blah blah the usual bout sumtink...im now wondering how mani ppl actually noes bout it!!! i noe the hole of 4F noes bout it aft janetta shout to the hole class according to jing yi, asfor 4G, i really hv no idea...i noe amileen's gang noes bout it, my own clique(lyk duh), marie's gang...n i duno le...i hope it hasnt gt tt far...haha...

so ya...jus finished reading a storybook titled "The Last Chance Texaco" it is kinda interesting...but now i think back the story line is a little slow...haha...its bout groupe house in America if im not wrong...group house simply means orphanage...so it talks about this girl by the name of lucy, whose parents and brother died in a car accident,her sister was adopted but she was too tough to handle for the foster family...so she has stayed in 10 different homes in 8 years...finally she reach the last home which is the last chance for her...kindle home...its different from the rest of the homes...and if she still misbehave, she ll b send to rabbit island aka eat-your-young-island...where she ll nv return...so it toks bout her life in kindle home, and the school in their neighbour...and a small advanture...n it was a great ending...i feel that its worth reading but it may not be ur interest thou...but no harm trying...

THANK YOU!!!

2006-08-10T01:33:00.000-07:00

ok...aft much talking and all, i feel much better...lol...thank you people...Thank you to all those who have help me in one way or another...thanks for taking time to show me concern...thank you...i ll not think too much after all...hehe...

so today was a good day...i woke up...as usual late for tuition again...hehe...then after tuition, we have prata again...it was fun! lol...n i invented something call sugar curry...qin was eating prata with sugar...so i pour some sugar onto my plate and then i dip my prata in curry n sugar...hehe...its nice...yum yum...had ice milo...but i feel that its too milky...mum's milo is always the best...no sugar, no milk...yum...lol...no matter how many times i tried to do it myself, it just didn't taste the same...lol

went home to meet daron and duke...so off we go to kovan...was thinking about what to have for lunch when dad called and say to bring us for sushi buffet...lol...service was damn slow...argh...daron eat and eat...bleah...haha...after that when to shop for shorts but to no avail

so we went to tampines to look for seahorse...no luck again this time...haiz...my poor sea horse living in its own world...so lonely...i know very well how it feels...lol...then duke and i went to some shop selling puppies...lol...so cute...got this white dog that just keep running in circles...lol...

oh ya i bought precious moment stickers...so cute...lol...cherishing every moment i have...lol....yay! deanna's on the way to recovery...it comes fast but end fast...haha...thou it ll still haunt me for the rest of my life...

HELP!!!

2006-08-09T01:23:00.000-07:00

argh! i nd help...everytink's stuck in my head...y cant dey gt out??? y cant i just forgt bout everything? why? why? why?

why i screwed my whole practical? why didnt i heat the dumb solution well enough? why didnt the damp red litmus paper turn red? why? why? why?

why must everything cumin all together? why? why am i getting confused aft i hv made my choice? why? why i let go another pops up? why? why's everybody snatching? why? why am i thinkin too much now? why? all the stress im facing isbursting me!!! why why why must they exist? why?!

why must i hear from qin? i noe bout dis...bcoz shes down n im listenin to her...but why? why must i feel it aft everything...i dun make a good counsellor...i shld not take up socila work in future...bamb!everything's turning...the world is, my mind is! turn turn turn...y can i just forgt about everytink...why do i absorb lyk a sponge? why? why? why? can i jus hear, listen, think n forgt every single thing? mayb by doing tt my life will be better? why? i cant do all that...i dun understand why! this is totally killing me! why do i hv to look strong on the outside and feel weak on the inside...is this the me all along? im losing my ownself...when will this ever stop?!

can sum1 tell me...how do solve a math qns...u r given the length of all sides of a triangle...n dey ask u to find one angle...i cant think anymore...

who can tell me all the ans to my qns?...i guess the qns ll follow me only aft i die...