因为你的离去，使得我浑身不自在！就像少了身体的一部分。。。可惜的是，就是少了我那颗心。人没心， 怎能活下去呢？所以，我一整天都魂不受色。。。我都快疯了！
没有你的存在，我什么都不是！一整天就是空荡荡的。。。我不能见到你，听不到你。。。我只能回想我们曾经有过的时光，只能紧紧的拥抱它。。。我不知我怎能渡过接下来的那几天。
心不见，脑海里就只有你。。。我为了你，已经把很多脑细胞杀死了！而我只想说一声‘我想你’。
my dreams 5:41 AM
是你让我感觉到爱一个人是什么滋味的但也是你让我发觉默默爱一个人是很辛苦的(Fong, 2007)i can't help but just copied from Fong tt 2 sentences, 2 very chim sentences which i tink is so super duper true......best thing is, it is nice!!!lol......hmm...so hols is here...and hv been gg out alot these days...n jia is gg crazy because of me!!! haha...i can't believe i missed the chance...lol...anw since its over so wad for me go think bout it...haha...thinking of roy having his secret blog...i hv my secret 'blog' oso...lol...sumtink which is so personal......except mine is not to be shared to everyone...haha...anyway... a chorus of a song that i love alot...我要离去别在哭泣不要伤心请你相信我要等待我的爱陪你永不离开因为会有那么一天我们牵着手在草原听 鸟儿歌唱的声音听我说生我爱你nice song nice song...lol...came up wif a stupid inspiration story...lol...so stupid...a story tt aint fluent at all...haha
my dreams 3:39 AM
ain't it warm to have someone offering you his coloured pens when you are making your notes for exams...and to have someone that everyday smsing you asking how is your revision going on......everything done, you may oversee it...but when all is collated together,the feeling is jus wow! big enough to feel it...even if its that small, somehow at times it ll not be overlooked......for that i thank daron and serene...i appreciate what you ppl have done...really...thank you!!! it really warms my heart when i received the pens and the sms......to ren: thx alot! but if you realise...why everything you did make me really wanna cry...the weather is cold but my heart is warm and its all because of you...thank you...love you lots......i thank god for having you in my life.........to rene: thx...though now my study gp is not the old gp that i have, i really miss those times we shared together back in sjc...but i would always welcome you into the new study gp...join us ba...and rene no nd to worry bout me la...u jiayou oso la!!! thx......loveand to all people who are hving exams next wk...gambateh ppl!!!! lets work hard and do it together!!! jiayou!!!!
my dreams 11:44 PM
its weird...maybe its due to the exam week ba...hmm...somehow...i wonder if we are really what we were at the start of the school...it's just weird...despite not seeing her, her and more her for erm say 3 wks...i can still tok to them...but yet, the closest, i cant seem to even say hi...what is wrong with us?! maybe a dyad would be better than a triad...though a dyad is not that stable but if i have the chance, i ll go for the dyad...seems lyk tts my personality for all my life so far...tt happened in sec 3, i broke off frm the triad......ll it happen i duno...but i ll say, we ll still be frens......im contented to just having a dyad relationship...be it a pair or more...im happy...im also happy being a floating soul...float here and dere...i have no complains...but a triad..................i duno......
so many things have been happening...screwed up my thursday paper...a total killer where i lost all my confidence...anw i finally understand wad U mean by being seperatly innocently...anw, wen U first tok to me bout ur separation, i said its ok, no worries...finally i understand how u feel.....lyk wad roy said...u wont know how it feels until u hv gone through it.........for U,all i have to say is...every parent means well......but then i noe it ll feel unreasonable bout their decision...but still their primary reason is to protect their only daughter and to mean well for her...to tell U the truth...i duno wad to do as well......i know they meant well but its really unreasonable for what daddy had say......i duno...i just duno......sumhw, i jus feel theres no necessary to tok bout it, but then until nw, thinking and thinking, i still cant find the ans.........
im tired...physically and mentally.........my eyes hurt, im sick of everything...esp...............
my dreams 10:04 AM
somehow, the phrase that has the same meaning as 'how you think your day would be,your day would be.'ala...can't really remember what's the phrase but it means somthing like that, somehow, the phrase does not really works...i'm sorry yq, it may work for you, but not for me...it's good to see the boys growing more and more mature these days...see how they grow up to be responsible guys...there's just this feeling of happiness for them......we all share the same memories...maybe more of daron and me compared to duke...but still we love each other...we have all grown up, so there's no way where a playground can hold us and to really retrieve the memories by playing......anyway, i pray to god...that my 2 little brothers( which are not little now) have the motivation to go for their last examination with confidence and to do their best!apart from that, life has been going down down and all down...im sorry if im a disappointment to all...its just that at this cruical time,i don't hv any strength to be strong or carry on......everyday seems to be dull dull and more dull......i can't concentrate in my studies and all...i jus hope i will manage to get a pass......haiz......though say resign to fate......everyone is resigning to fate......life seems to be totally meaningless le......tk the plunge tk the plunge the voice at the back was saying......but then whatever for?! its not worth it...i have done too many mistakes, and tking the plunge won't be another mistake......its jus so not worth it.........plus wrong things come all at a time.........u may jus suffocate under stress.....................................
my dreams 6:31 AM
the fable of immunity will always occur to adolescents...n i feel that, for one to have that kind of thinking, its kind of immature...ok wad exactly is fable of immunity...it means that one has that kind of thinking that all misfortune will not happen to him. e.g getting SARS...well......now i finally understand why mum tries so hard to drill this sentence 'nv get involved in a relationship when you are studying!' into our brains......haiz...hw true is tt...very true...well, u may think it is rubbish, tk it light heartedly...thinking that it ll nv ever happen to you...u may hv thought that, well im coping well wif my relationship n studies now...but i believe no matter hw well one can cope, he ll bound to have a time where he can't cope...n when that time comes, he ll suddenly be enlightened and think hw true that sentence is...i ll say, its nv too late to learn from that kind of mistakes...but its just that, you have to get over the hurt which will take a long time to heal...and then promise yourself to nv to do that agn......thinking of which, a life is so fragile...and so short...you may live today, but not tmr......i really don't know for hw long more i am able to put on a strong front......i cant help it anymore!!! but its just that every little non-detailed stuff i see, i recalled,you will appear in my mind...im wondering...do we really have that much of memories of each other?! i can say, we must hv really been gd frens to share those times.........i noe im tinking too much...jia said so, yong quan said so...but then its really true...i guess you have no idea how torturing it is for me to sit through lecture with the lecturer jus kept using the same diagnosis for examples...n tt lovely diagnosis was c_______.........haiz...nth is improving at all...and now, stupid thinking made me think worst......im really gg crazy......but then, i shall stop everything and end it my way.........
my dreams 7:09 AM
Suddenly...i thought back to the past......back to the 4-5 days after we know each other as friends...that was the very first time you hurt me...and the very first time i cried because of you...and that sure is long long long ago...haizand now i suddenly think back...i wonder how much tears have i dropped because of you......hmmm...alot ma? i cant rmb and dun wish to rmb...but i noe...alot of my first time came about because of you...and to the extend that some of the first times, i nv want to repeat it ever agn!!!haha...yes its alot of first time regarding you...first this, first that...tears dropped tons...heart break tons...joy and laughter tons...disappointment...tons.............................................................................................................
my dreams 9:32 AM
总于雨过天晴了！请你们不要再想了！这一切一切完全是不可能的！我也已经问过了。他说的人绝对不是我，所以就别想那么多了！咳！总于我感到比较轻松了！总于啊！这还得感谢所有帮过我的人！！！ 就像家敏，希仁，佩珊，Darren, 和 Ira。。。谢谢你们！但是，事情已经有了答案，有了结果，你们就别再帮我想了啦！哈哈！today is yoyo's bdae!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOLANDA CHUA!!!蔡嘉贤，生日快乐！！！ Happy birthday sis!!!was suppose to wake up at 8.30am, apparently, due to all the late nite sleep, i overslept once agn...its dreadful to oversleep when u r gg to meet rene the next morning...haha...pressure!early in the morning, adrenaline rush! haha...so i woke up only at 9.30am...n ok la...lucky she called...so yup...meeting her at 10am n im still in bed at 9.30...half an hr is possible to rush, but i dun always managed to do tt...haha but today, i went in the bathroom n out within 15 min....wooooooooo!!! ya,in the end, i took the bus, picked rene n mabs up, we arrived at min's hse at 10.30am...lyk wth! meeting time suppose to be 11am!!! i could hv jus slept another half hr...lol...so went in n min taught us to fold rabbits...hehe...apparently was yoyo's bdae pressie...of coz special ones gt words on it...den yoyo didnt arrived until 11.30 plus...oh well, we head for NTUC to buy stuff to whip up a lunch...haha...5 gals shopping for groceries...perfect!jus buying the soda water, we alr tinking of the price...lol...yo was best! cheese oso gt tink of price...lol...den lugged everything bac to min's hm...stopped by video ezy to borrow a dvd...n it was the devil wears prada...ok...so bac at min hm, we all got bz in the kitchen, cut this, cut tt, boil this, boil that, wash here, wash there...n apparently, communication breakdwn, min started shouting...ya, ok was part of my mistk...anw, situation was saved...phew...pasta done lovely! salad done lovely! grapes done lovely! the only prob we hv was the pasta sauce, which was also solved int he end!!! hehe...yay we rox!lol...carrots soft enuff, thou the chicken was cooked a lil longer, it was still tender, the amount of cheese we added in the sauce was WOW!!! so the sauce was all cheesed up!soda drink was lovely too! so we ate n watch the movie at the same time...hehe...the movie is nice!n the food was great! sumhw, i ate the most amount of honey tomato in the salad...aft all tt, we ate the tidbits...den ltr the cake was served...ok we bought strawberry cheese cake, easier to handle...hehe n nice since we were all cheese lovers!!! eat n cleared...den we had our usual photo session!!! hehe...had to go off, so we bid our farewell once agn...den the 4 of us head for home...except yo to meet sum1...lol...den on the bus, i saw KT so i tell mabs...but she nv heard it!!! until wen we were chatting den she suddenly turn n asked me if my fren was dere!!! faint...den nvm, aft her turn was my turn...i board the bus,i knocked into sum1 den i apologized n i didnt really pay attention to tt sum1...den the 4 of us started toking, n suddenly rene,mabs n yoyo kept emphasising on 'u noe hu'. den i was lyk ya ya ya...n i turned to see who was beside me...which was the person i knocked into...den omg...lol...it was my jr...haha worst i cant recognize but i tot why tt person look so familiar...haha sad, plus i took her batch...had it was tt person they were emphasising, i would hv killed myself man!!! lol...arrived at my hse bus stop...walked n walked...duno wads wrong, gt a serious, throbbing pain...say rating for me la...3...bearable but i dun wanna bear it!!! den was walking n walking until lrt stat...n i saw wai yeng n irfan! haha...so i shouted wai yeng but she nv hear...if im not wrong, coz it was irfan tt notify her!!! so tok to her...den asked her where she gg, the 2 of dem gg study, n i spent a whole day out hving fun! lol...so stress....so bid farewell to the 2 of dem!!! den go home...home stuff, nth much...jus dinner, nap, watch ghost show n blogging...
my dreams 7:56 AM
人在小，在脆弱，总有一天他一定会长大，会学习使自己坚强。天天回家，都会经过游乐场，看着孩子们玩得不亦乐乎，那种没有担忧，没有烦恼的生活，不经让我想起了童年往事。。。好想好想让时间倒回。。。回到从前。就像那些孩子们一样，跑来跑去，喊来喊去。。。就由在天空飞翔的小鸟儿，自由自在的飞啊，飞啊！但如今，这种想法是不可能的！！！好像有时间在和我的弟弟们玩个痛快,好像有时间陪陪家人。。。我还不清楚，为设么明明对自己说我不会这么做，忍耐，这一切一切就会过去了。但是，我始终还是做不到！我现在唯一希望你能帮我的就是，请你告诉我吧！我不会难过，也不会伤心。。。或许会有一点，但我相信，这一切很快就会过去了。你的一个答案就能使我放弃得比较安心，比较快了。。。这或许是你能帮我的最后一件事了，你要帮或不帮我也无所谓了。
my dreams 3:59 AM
haha...ok im gg to tok about the colour blue n white!!! after 10 yrs of wearing blue n white, i hv to put up wif the colour for another 3 more yrs!!! i cant believe it!!! no...no...no!!! actually i didnt realise it until today clinical briefing where aaron lim mentioned the blue n white represents nyp...den my old memories were triggered!!! "the ij uniform represents our sch, must wear properly...blah blah blah" den i turned to jia, "eh jia, its blue n white agn!!! 13 yrs or blue and white!!!" ok not only we r confide to 3 more yrs of blue n white, we are confide to 3 more yrs of more 'convent' style course...no offence to any nursing guys reading this!!! plus i hv jus joined make up club...i jus pray n hope i wont go the wrong way...haha
additional to blue n white, jia n i wore blue n white today!!!lol...great huh!
note to all people out there esp ...uh hmm...
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE...EVEN PARALLEL LINES MAY MEET ONE DAY...(meet in one str8 line, not stick tgt lyk a pair of chopsticks) if u still got no hope, check out this vid!!!
and according to yq...song of the season:
Never Let You Go...by janice
ok above are photos of prata treat by cinthia, our lovely stud mentor...thx cin, then fotos of movie trip wif jiajia,n lastly jiajia n my flower shots!!
8:51 AM
今天的一切一切都很平静。对我来说，应该是件好事吧！现在的我只求幸福，快乐和智慧。其他的应该暂时抛到九霄云外吧！我发现当你和一个或一群人在一起就了，举止，说话的语气甚至是思想或想法都会差不多是一样的。。。这就是朋友给我们的影响。现在想想，家敏说的一句话，虽然我从没想过但是， 给她一讲，这句话我永远都会记住了。世上有这么多比我更好的女人。。。一句很没信心，没有抱握的话！我现在很想告诉你，如果有设么不满，我宁可你在我面前大声地说出来。。。这样一来，我们俩就不会这么辛苦了。。。这样才向朋友吗！！！ 或许又是我在想太多了，但我没办法不去想啊！这一切使我感到很不安。。。一点安全感也么有。。。我不懂是该相信你还是不相信。你当然会说相信啦！这样会对彼此都有好处。。。可是我呢？我不能欺骗自己说我相信但在心里还是有点怪怪的感觉。。。为设么当我在学校时，虽然哦俄会想到你但是我总是会路出笑脸，但当我一个人静一静时，我就马上跌到最低曹。。。痛苦该不会这么快救过了，但我还不会放弃直到那一天。。。
my dreams 3:13 AM
Check out this MySpace MP3 Player!
